Elusive
by Almi Melwen
Summary: AU. James & Lily. James Potter had it all a loving family, wealth, looks, and the fame he didn't want. His only escapes were his anonymity at Hogwarts and . . . Lily Evans.
1. Introductions

* * *

**_Chapter 1: Introductions_**

**_By: Almicene Melwen_**

**_Updated: July 13, 2004_**

* * *

Sirius looked over at his best friend, or rather the tufts of black hair that peaked out under the covers. _"Hmm . . . how to wake the dolt up . . ."_

"You do realize Padfoot, you could just shake him," Remus commented, as he stepped out of the shower. His amber eyes sparkled with amusement.

"Technically I could Moony . . . but that's just no fun. It's the first day of school, and I have to make it memorable for our new Head Boy! Especially since it's his last night in this room," the seventeen-year-old protested. The raven haired boy sat on his bed, frustrated that no ideas came to him.

Peter, on an adjacent bed, mumbled incoherently and tossed to another side. The excited shout of Sirius startled him, and caused him to hit his head on the bedpost.

"I got it!"

"Damn it Padfoot!" Peter cursed, shooting a dirty look at Sirius.

Sirius smirked, throwing an apologetic look to his roommate, but continued with his new plan. He leapt off his bed and grabbed his smooth mahogany wand. Muttering an incantation, he swished his wand perfectly. A sparkle of light shot out from his wand to James's ear.

The screaming of several teenage girls followed.

"James! _Je t'aime_!" one voice screamed with a distinctly French accent. _(I love you!)_

"Jamies!!! Marry me!" shouted another over-zealous high pitched voice.

The lean Gryffindor chaser shot out of bed with a yelp. He frantically looked around, thinking he was back at his house, or rather mansion. The son of a wealthy entrepreneur, James Potter was considered one of the best catches in the wizarding world, much to his chagrin. Worth millions and very elusive, he was highly sought after by photographers and journalists, who all wanted an interview, or at least more than a glimpse beyond the sunglasses and baseball cap he wore to cover his identity. Not one magazine or newspaper had ever published a picture of James. Then again James didn't spend time with anyone in France besides his family.

The reporters never guessed that Harold Potter sent his son to Hogwarts. After all, the Potter family was situated in France, having moved from England several years before becoming multi-millionaires. Beaubeauxtons had been scoured from top to bottom for any sign of Harold Potter's son. They had thought he had taken an alias, but after finding nothing, they concluded James must have been home schooled.

"That was _not_ funny Padfoot," James said icily. Tossing the fallen covers back on his bed, he glared at Sirius and Remus.

"I never knew that girls were your worst nightmare," laughed Sirius.

"Yeah well, you never had to deal with screaming, hysterical women," the wizard muttered grumpily. Wearing only fine silk black boxers, the early morning sun revealed his well-toned body.

James headed for the shower. He turned around, narrowing his eyes. "Do that again, and I'll make sure you find your missing chastity." Smirking at Sirius's shocked expression he slammed the door. Wealth had left its mark on James – he was just a tad bit spoiled despite his parents' efforts.

"You don't think-" Sirius choked, finding his voice.

"I do," said Remus, keeping an amazingly straight face. _"That's what you get Sirius for waking up James in the morning. You think you would have learned after 7 years that James is one of the most grumpy people during the early hours."_

"Prongs!" Sirius leapt towards the locked door. "You weren't serious buddy, were you?" he asked worriedly. "Prongs?!" He banged on the door as James began singing, purposefully ignoring Sirius.

* * *

Lily sighed, combing her silky auburn tresses. She was glad to be back at Hogwarts. Her sister, Petunia had made the summer absolutely dreadful, as usual, parading her new horrid boyfriend around. Lily had tried to be supportive and understanding but Vernon really tested her patience. Making her way to the mirror, the Head Girl glanced at her new room. It was already decorated in plush red and gold colors, having been adjusted for her already.

"You look fantastic dear!" her mirror complemented her. "You could always try leaving it down though . . . might make you look more attractive."

The red-head smiled. "No thanks Mattie." She knew she looked more appealing with her hair down, but she didn't feel like impressing anyone. If she ever dated another guy they would have to like her with her hair up.

Her mirror, which she was named Matilda nodded and smiled wearily – even Head Girls needed to feel beautiful. "Alright dearie. Perhaps some other time then."

Grabbing her book bag after smoothing out her plain black robe she headed out the door. A figure stood waiting outside her room, surprising her.

"Persephone!" Lily cried, clutching her chest. "By Merlin you gave me a good fright!"

Persephone smirked. "It's not my fault you have a terrible memory." The dirty blonde girl started pulling her best friend towards the dining hall. "Come on Lily – I want to get some breakfast before class after all."

"Wait, how did you know where the Head rooms are?" Lily asked suddenly as they walked towards the Great Hall.

The witch suddenly looked uncomfortable and avoided Lily's narrowed eyes. "Uh . . . lucky guess?" she offered sheepishly. _"Heh . . . if only you knew Lily what I've been up to! I have my ways . . . granted it's Sirius, but still._"

"Seph . . ." Lily warned, wondering if Persephone had blackmailed someone for the information. Although, there was only one other person that should have known about the Head Rooms and that was the Head Boy. She was more than positive that Persephone didn't know James Potter well enough.

"Oh look! There's Remus!" she shouted suddenly, waving at Lily's crush as they were ushered in for breakfast and successfully distracting Lily from questioning her further.

The quiet Remus smiled politely back, offering a nod of his own towards both of the girls. James, Sirius and Peter were all finally awake and chatting amongst themselves as Remus merely enjoyed the peace of the moment. He inhaled sharply and immediately knew what was being served for breakfast, as the werewolf in him gave him sharpened senses.

Lily blushed, her inquisition of Seph temporarily forgotten. "Seph! I can't believe you did that!" she said incredulously. The redhead had developed a small crush on the quiet Remus, who she knew to be more outspoken around people he was comfortable with. Remus was a safe guy, she told herself. He wouldn't hurt anyone, let alone people he cared about. Lily's last relationship had ended badly and caused her to be weary of beginning a new one, especially since she would have a lot more work to do this year.

She spied Sirius Black heading towards Remus and plotted the best way to get Persephone back for embarrassing her. She smirked as the perfect plan came into mind. After all, what was a best friend for?

"Wait a sec," Lily told Persephone. "I need to tie my shoes."

She knew her friend would be too preoccupied with 'not' liking Sirius, as Seph claimed, to notice that her black school shoes were actually tied.

"Sure Lily," Persphone said distractedly, seeing a freshly showered Sirius talk casually to his friends. She quickly turned away, chiding herself for paying too much attention to the boy. She would not be one of the many girls that fawned over him. Sirius's ego was large enough already. The blonde witch turned to Lily and quirked an eyebrow. Her shoes were already tied. She opened her mouth to question the devious witch, but was too slow to ask anything.

After seeing Remus pass first, Lily quickly stood up, shoving Persephone in front of her.

"Watch it!" Persephone said warningly.

"Oh, my apologies Seph," Lily smirked.

"Uh oh . . . what's _that_ smile for?"

Reaching in front of Persephone, Lily pinched Sirius's bum, flashing a quick smile at Seph before disappearing around the corner.

Persephone gasped and Lily left the scene of the crime. And when the raven haired wizard turned around to see exactly who had done it, Lily was no where to be found.

"Persephone?!" asked Sirius shocked. "Wow," he said regaining his cool composure, "I never knew." He smiled and put his arm around the girl. "So how about-"

"I didn't pinch your bum! That's just disgusting!" She protested, blushing furiously. She shoved Sirius's arm off her shoulders. She looked around for Lily.

"Who said anything about pinching my bum?" Sirius raised an eyebrow. He smirked again as there was no one except Persephone around. "Come on darling, it was only a matter of time before you gave in too."

"Yuck," she spat. "I'm going to kill Lily for this."

Sirius stroked her cheek. "Right . . . how about tonight at the-"

"NO!" she shouted, racing off with a very apparent blush staining her cheeks. It was time to escape before she turned redder than a tomato.

"Now that was odd," Sirius remarked to himself, not seeing the Head Girl snickering in the shadows outside the door.

Lily began to head to the Gryffindor table when a gentle arm stopped her. Looking from the hand on her shoulders, she traced it to a very handsome wizard. The light black framed glasses around his eyes only enhanced their hazel color. She tried to fight the blush creeping on her cheeks, knowing that he must have seen what had happened.

"I'm impressed," he said finally, keeping his eyes on her. James smiled at her and she dropped her gaze. Lily ground her foot into the floor in nervousness. Was he going to take house points off for a simple prank? "To think you're the Head Girl too."

Yep, she was definitely in trouble. But it was just a stupid prank! "_Just take the stupid points off already!"_ She looked up, impatient and angry at being toyed with. "I don't have all day for you to take off points . . ." "_Crap . . . I can't believe I forgot his name already."_ She looked at his shiny Head Boy badge and her eyes widened in surprise. This was the Head Boy?

"James Potter," he said with a tiny smile gracing his lips. "_That's unusual . . . to have people not know who I am. Finally."_ He removed his hand from her petite shoulders and offered it to her.

She shook it. "Lily Evans. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to get some food while breakfast is still being served."

"Not very patient are you," James reprimanded, amusement dancing in his eyes.

"Not with people like you. Good day," she responded with a quick smile. He was momentarily taken back and Lily took the opportunity to escape by ducking beneath his outstretched arm. She turned her back to James as she walked besides the tables towards Persephone. If only she could bring people like James down a notch every day. So _that_ was the James Potter girls talked about in class occasionally. He wasn't as perfect as they made him seem. For one thing he couldn't even come up with a proper reply! To think he was smitten with just a smile. There was definitely no hope for him and unfortunately no

"_Wow . . ._" James thought as he watched the red-head find her friend. Lily Evans was definitely a name worth remembering.

James spotted Sirius, who wore a look of confusion and happiness on his face. Walking over, James wrapped an arm around his mate and led him towards the Gryffindor table, since apparently Sirius was having trouble even walking. "What's gotten you so preoccupied?"

Sirius gave James a grin. "Do you even have to ask?"

"Oh right, girls again eh? So who's the next victim dare I ask?" James said, remembering all the troubles Sirius got into with girls. Unlike Sirius, James had learned from his best friend's mistakes and avoided the major mishaps of things like dating two girls at once because you forgot you were dating one, forgetting what she looked like, and James's personal favorite – breaking up with a girl by avoiding her until she got the hint. Sirius never intentionally hurt them, but somehow he always managed to anyways.

"Hey!" Sirius shot James a playful dirty look. "You make it sound like I'm a murderer."

"Well you are. You butcher their poor hearts," James said, dramatically throwing one hand over his heart. "It's amazing they don't die on the spot."

Sirius punched James in the arm lightly. "Well you can ask the girls; they all feel honored to have me as their boyfriend." The two sat down at the table, grabbing scones and biscuits from the large basket in the center. Remus and Peter were seated across from them, watching the entertainment in front of them.

James snickered. "Is that before or after they've had you as a boyfriend?"

Sirius growled very doglike, a side effect of being an Animagus. "Oh bugger off James. When you accidentally get two girlfriends at once then you can tell me off. Until then, you won't realize how hard it is. I don't see why it hasn't happened to you. I mean after all you've got your choice of girls here and in France."

James replied in between bites of his breakfast, "Sirius, you don't get two girlfriends _accidentally_. I make sure I know exactly who I'm dating and who I'm not. Perhaps you should do the same."

Their argument was stopped by a fluttering of wings as many owls swooped in to find their recipient of their package or letter. A particularly majestic owl stopped in front of James to drop a small letter from his parents and sent what could only be described as an owl glare at Sirius before swooping off. It looked quite odd flying off as it was missing its tail feathers.

A small owl dropped a letter gently into Remus's lap and also one to Peter. It was the Pettigrew family owl that Remus's mother often used to send a small note to Remus every once in a while. Sirius just watched everything with a neutral expression, as he knew he would receive nothing from the family that had disowned him. One day, he promised himself, he would show them exactly how wrong they were for their prejudices.

James tossed his package to Sirius. "I know you like opening them," he offered as an explanation. He received a grateful look in a return. Sirius tore open the package and handed James the letter inside. The box was filled with James's and Sirius's favorite French sweets.

"Dear James and Sirius," read James, "We wanted to send you a little back to school treat, so here it is! Be on your very best behavior. Congratulations to the both of you for making it to your last year. See you at the winter holidays. Love, Mum and Dad." James scanned to the bottom of the note quickly and noticed a P.S. "P.S. Feel free to go to any of the shops in Hogsmeade to get new robes, brooms, school supplies and the like. We already have an account set up for the both of you at any of the stores."

"Aww . . ." mocked Sirius, hiding how grateful he really was to the Potters. They treated him like a second son, never making him feel like an outsider. Every holiday he was given the same treatment as James.

James gave him a pointed look. "That note was directed at you too, so I wouldn't be making too much fun of it now."

"But seriously that was nice of your parents. I'll have to write a thank you note sometime."

James laughed. "No you don't, they also wrote: 'P.P.S. No need to 'thank' us Sirius. Poor Albion is still recovering from the last 'thank you' note you sent us.'" James's parents were referring to the time that Sirius had felt the need to give them proper thanks. He included one of his special fireworks inside the note as a gift. Unfortunately the owl had not made it all the way to the Potters before the firework had gone off. Needless to say, Albion had avoided Sirius since, especially since his tail feathers had just begun to grow back.

Sirius shot a glare at James, who subsequently chuckled softly.

Meanwhile a few seats down a young redheaded witch heard the laugh and quickly glanced in the direction. She studied James for a second and let her lips curve up into a small smile. Then just as quickly, she refocused her attention on her conversation with Persephone.


	2. Failings

* * *

**_Chapter 2: Failings_**

**_By: Almicene Melwen_**

**_Updated: July 30, 2004_**

* * *

"Have a hot date with a certain Mr. Black tonight?" Lily teased.

"I can't believe you did that!" Persephone sputtered. She crossed her arms slightly annoyed with the red-headed witch sitting next to her. The last thing she needed was some stupid little bugger that she just happened to have just the tiniest toleration for bothering her constantly.

"As if you didn't enjoy the attention Seph," Lily said casually. Persephone didn't have to look at the redhead to know she was very satisfied with herself.

Persephone hmphed. "That's not the point!" she retorted hotly. "I'm still mad at you for making Sirius think that _I_ of all people pinched his bum!"

Lily raised an eyebrow, surprised that that particular aspect of the prank bothered her. "Does last year ring a bell?" The redhead referred to last year's Halloween masquerade where Persephone actually grabbed Sirius's bum dressed as a nun. Supposedly Sirius was traumatized for weeks since the only person besides the nun was a large burly caveman, who _must _have been the culprit.

"That doesn't count! It was truth or dare."

"Right . . . that explains why you utter his name in your sleep."

Persephone's eyes widened. "I do?" She looked over in Sirius's direction, as if blaming him for the incident. Feeling eyes on his back, Sirius turned around and smirked upon seeing Persephone staring. He winked and mouthed: "Astronomy Tower at 9."

He got a very curt and rude response from the blonde witch. She turned back to Lily, blaming her. "Argh! This is all _your_ fault Lily Evans!" she hissed to her partner.

Lily just smiled.

"Alright class! Turn to page sixteen of the text . . ." a young Professor McGonagall announced, walking into the class perfectly on time. "Just as a review, since you have been on summer vacation, we're going to transfigure these twigs into flowers. Every desk has a different type of twig and should turn into a different kind or color of flower."

A sea of groans reached the teacher's ears. She hid her amusement as some things never changed. Minerva warned them, "Any complaining and we won't have a review and will go straight into transfiguring porcupines."

"Oh yeah, I _definitely_ missed this class," Sirius remarked sarcastically to James.

The teacher caught his words to James and turned her eyes on him. "What was that Mr. Black?" Minerva McGonagall asked sharply.

"I just said that I missed you SO much over the summer Minnie," Sirius replied, flashing her a charming smile, the one he used when he was trying to get out of trouble.

The teacher stiffened, not completely used to responses from students. But she had been learning over the years with Sirius and James, the two biggest trouble makers in the entire history of her teaching career at Hogwarts. "Five points Mr. Black for addressing a professor so informally."

As the professor rambled on how to transfigure the twigs, James chanced a look at the auburn-haired witch that had disregarded him so rudely in the morning. She was absently twirling a strand of hair that managed to escape its plastic confines, trying to understand the lesson. The corners of his mouth twitched into a small smile at the intensity of her concentration.

"Pair up please!" ordered Professor McGonagall. "Miss Evans and Miss Olwen move to this table please." She pointed to the desk immediately in front of Sirius and James.

"The Lady have mercy," Persephone whimpered, looking as if she was walking towards death. She paled, not wanting to be so close to a certain wizard. Technically she owed him for telling her where the Head Girl's room was, but she hoped to Merlin that he had forgotten. But taking one look at his twinkling eyes she knew, forgetting that debt was the last thing on his mind. She stared just a little too long at Sirius, since Lily pulled her out of her trance.

"Come on Seph," Lily said, grabbing Persephone's hand and rolling her eyes. "You'll thank me ten years from now when little Sirius Jr.'s are running all over the place."

That was enough to turn Persephone's attention from the dark-eyed wizard looking straight at her. She scrunched her nose up at the thought of kids. "Gross! One's too many already Lily!"

The redhead shook her head knowingly, and plopped her things down on the table. Both girls pulled out their wands, studying the twigs. "How'd it go again?" the dark blonde witch asked.

"I think . . ." Lily muttered a spell, waving her wand softly in a complicated pattern, and a small light shot out. The elm tree twig twisted and turned, shimmering with a magical light. It seemed to work until it transfigured into a dead rose with a single thorn. ". . . that I don't know." She frowned, elm trees had special properties. Her flower should have been a sparkling rose. What had she done wrong? Avoiding the unique thorn she twirled the flower around, as if it held the answer to her problem.

The girls heard snickering behind them and Seph turned around, frowning at the culprits. Sirius was trying, unsuccessfully to hide his laughter. The corners of James's mouth were turned up in what Persephone could have sworn was a smile. "I noticed you need a little help Miss Evans."

"Funny how I've made a point _not_ to notice you," the redhead said without turning around to even spare James a glance.

"Ouch!" remarked Sirius. "Burned Prongs." He turned to Lily. "You've got a lot of hostility towards our Head Boy here. Was there something he did to you? I don't remember seeing you in our classes before."

"Maybe because I wasn't looking for you," Lily casually said while still turning the pages of her text, looking for the solution to her dead rose.

Seph snickered. "Guess those barbs aren't just directed at the Head Boy huh Sirius?"

"Sorry Prongs, guess Lily doesn't have a special place in her heart for you."

"What heart?" James muttered under his breath, unused to such treatment from a Gryffindor girl. At Hogwarts, his presence exuded such confidence, power, that no student except a few Slytherins thought to backtalk him. His Quidditch talents helped to put him above the rest in his peers' minds. Although with their admiration, came their respect, something James now expected. Who was this girl who ignored all unwritten rules that he had worked hard to establish?

Lily frowned slightly but quickly hid it as she met his cold hazel gaze. She heard the comment that James hadn't quite intended for her to pick up. "The one you obviously will never have," she answered in a forced tone of sweetness, hiding the hurt. James's behavior towards her mirrored her older sister's at home, always thinking she was better than everyone else because she had something more, or was different in some way.

James saw her eyes were a darker shade of green than earlier, and held a deeper sadness than she had let on. The handsome black-haired wizard heard the pain laced through her words and winced slightly from guilt. He didn't apologize though. It was beneath him right? But for the rest of the class all he could think of was of her beautifully sad green eyes.

Lily didn't talk to James for the rest of the lesson, ignoring him as best as she was able. As the hour ended, the redheaded witch still had not managed to fix her wilted black rose. Frustrated, she left in a hurry to her next class with Persephone, leaving it behind.

James picked up the rose, unbeknownst to Sirius, tucking it into his robes.

**_

* * *

_**

****

Exhausted, the seventeen year-old witch headed to her private room. It had been a long, tiring day of classes with loads of homework to be done to keep her mind off the world outside of Hogwarts. And her short diatribe with James hadn't helped her mood either. Who did he think he was, to make comments of her character when he hardly knew her? She didn't expect to be given special treatment because of recent events, but was a little kindness too much to ask for?

Reciting the password, the portrait swung open, revealing a door. She was so distracted that she didn't see the object in the handle of her door as she grabbed it.

"Ouch!" she cursed as a thorn pricked her finger. Retracting her injured thumb, she gingerly pulled out a long sparkling black rose. "_What in the world?_" It was her formerly wilted flower that had been properly transfigured. Attached was a simple note:

_For the rose behind the thorns that I failed to see earlier.__ Sorry. _


	3. Beginnings

* * *

**_Chapter 3: Beginnings_**

**_By: Almicene Melwen_**

**_Updated: July 31, 2004_**

* * *

Catching the early light of the moonlight, the black rose sparkled softly. It was a magical rose and soft trails of glittering light fell from the petals to the desk she had placed it on. She could have watched the flower for hours on end as its ethereal glow and fragrance filled her room and forgotten everything else. Maybe that was why she had been appointed Head Girl, to keep her grounded in responsibilities. Merlin knew what she would do with too much time. She touched a petal very gently with a finger and the rose sighed happily, enjoying the attention.

Lily sighed softly, switching her thoughts once more as she sat at her desk, relaxing before she had to patrol. James Potter was an enigma for sure. He had definite charm but he refrained from using it most of the time or else he had some disease that every other girl knew about that she didn't. Lily had noticed him a couple years ago when he became one of the key players for the Gryffindor team. Who couldn't help but notice the handsome Gryffindor chaser and now Captain, especially when he was in his Quidditch uniform with the wind blowing through his hair while he streaked across the pitch, clearing enjoying every minute of the game? She had felt embarrassed forgetting his name earlier simply because he had turned his lovely hazel eyes at her.

The grandfather clock in her room chimed and she looked at her watch, her sole most prized possession. It had been her mother's watch, and the only thing she had left besides a couple of family photos of her parents. Her parents had not left a will so Petunia had taken everything else. Turning the lights off in the room with a magnified "_nox__,_" Lily snuck one last glance at the rose and the note beside it. She had wanted to throw it away just to spite James, but hesitated at the last moment. . . .She would just throw it away later. She was too 'tired' to do it at the moment.

Heading to the hallways, she tucked her smooth wand inside her dark green cloak pocket. Was she supposed to be patrolling alone or with the Head Boy? It didn't matter, she preferred to be alone anyways. There was no one to fake smiles for, to pretend to be alright, and drain her of what energy she had.

Her shoes were the only sound in the corridors. "_I guess everyone does follow curfew after all._" But just as soon as that thought had come, the whispers quickly dismissed her assumptions. Whispering a spell of stealth, she headed towards the noise.

"Hurry up! You know our Lord isn't patient!" barked one voice.

Lily's heart began to race as she pulled out her wand. Pressing herself against the wall she walked slowly towards the sound. She should have gone for help, but then again they would be gone by the time the professors came back.

The footsteps came closer and the redheaded witch waited until they were almost passed her hallway. Then she stepped out in front of them, very calm and collected. Funny, considering she was feeling exactly the opposite. Lily pointed the wand towards the four figures. "Don't even **think** about moving," she ordered.

"Who do you think you are to stop us from going?" snarled one. All of them were in hooded black cloaks, hiding their identity.

The apparent leader gave her an appraising look, seeing her Head Girl badge. "Oh," he sneered. "If it isn't our mudblood Head Girl. My apologies, your highness," he mocked. He waved the back of his hand at her, "Get out of our way filth."

Using her anger to overpower her fear, she added, "That's right, keep talking. You're only going to get punished further." Lily narrowed her eyes. "Now turn around and march to the Headmaster's office. Any movement to get your wands and I will not hesitate to use mine." Lily half expected them to run in four different directions or do anything but comply.

They gave her scathing looks but obeyed. "_Damn . . . I wish we would have learned how to summon several objects at once. Then I could get their wands without any chance of being attacked by one of them."_

The grip on her wand was incredibly tight. They were going to Voldemort . . . was there no safe haven in the world? Death Eaters in the very school where future aurors were learning. She wondered how the resistance would ever be able to win the war if things continued the way they were. They kept walking for a few minutes while Lily watched them for the slightest motion one of them was going for their wand.

"_God . . . how much longer until Dumbledore's office?__ I don't think it's ever seemed so far_."

She kept her eyes trained on them, and missed seeing a mislaid stone in the floor. Lily tripped.

And then everything happened so quickly.

"_Crucio_!" one screamed as he whipped his wand out and at Lily. The others pulled out their wand, eager to punish the mudblood that had stood between them and their master.

"_Silencio_!" another cried, thinking quickly. No one would hear her cry for help or the screams they would force out of her.

"That will teach you mudblood," hissed the leader. Then as he spun around his hood fell back, revealing bleach blonde hair and his identity.

"_How not surprising,_" she thought even as the first part of the Cruciatus spell took hold. It was none other than Lucius Malfoy.

The pain enveloped her as she fell to the floor. She could have sworn her very skin was burning off, as the heat was so intense. Every nerve screamed in protest as each one was being tested and torn. She had never been in such intense agony. And then came the feeling of being stabbed repeatedly with a blade that was being twisted inside of her. Lily couldn't help but scream and scream. The spell made her wish she was dead instead of being in such agony.

Lucius crouched down and put a finger under her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze as her body continued to spasm. Her green eyes shined with fresh tears as others freely flowed down her face. "Ready for more?" he whispered with a sadistic smile as he raised his wand. The first spell was wearing off as her body began to calm down. He wanted to give her another taste. His lips curled into forming the first syllable of the spell. He didn't see her eyes trying to focus on the identities of the others. Lucius didn't realize the witch saw a hawkish nose protruding from another's cloak from her position on the floor.

That's when Lily punched him _hard _right where he would be least likely to forget it any time soon. A sick sound came from Lily's wrist. The redhead knew she had broken a couple of bones because she had hit him so hard. But it had been so very worth it. She grimaced through her tears as she watched him. He toppled over, cradling the family jewels as his accomplices fumbled for their wand. Lily was quicker this time even using her wand with her left hand, and she performed the counter-curse to the silence spell before casting the next spell.

"_Tempestio_!" she shouted furiously as red sparks flew from her wand of willow. They formed a giant tornado right in the middle of the corridor, heading straight for the boys. They ran away unsuccessfully as the storm meant for them swept them up into its cycle.

"Ahhhh!!!!" they screamed, crying out for some form of mercy.

Lily would have laughed had the situation been less serious, but she was about to pass out from the pain. "_That's what you get bastards._" Pushing herself off the ground with great difficulty, she stepped forward and bound each of them with a simple charm as they were whipped around in a vicious circle in the tornado. Then she released the charm, and the culprits fell to the ground hard. Then she heard a noise behind her. Lucius! She had forgotten about the sneaky little bastard. She whipped around, but not before a voice was heard.

"_Petrificus_ _totalus_!" came the spell of immobility.

Lucius fell, still frozen with his wand pointed at Lily's back. She let out a small gasp and met the eyes of the person who had helped her. Then she frowned upon seeing who it was, turned around and magically floated the three hooded students towards the headmaster's office. Lily's legs gave out under her, but James steadied her. The redhead closed her eyes, catching her breath and headed towards Dumbledore's office despite her broken wrist and weakened state.

"Not even a thank you?" asked James, jogging to catch up as charmed Lucius's body to follow him with a floating spell.

"Perhaps an 'it's about time' would be the most appropriate statement for you," retorted the red-head softly, her voice shaky.

James looked at her, concerned. "We're dropping them off and then going to the hospital wing before you collapse . . ." he added as an afterthought, "again."

Lily shook her head firmly, the action obviously taxing her. "No," she said in an uncompromising tone. "I'm fine." She changed the topic of conversation away from herself. "So why were you late?"

The black haired boy gave her a sheepish grin and a shrug. "I got caught up with something before patrols. Sorry," he apologized, still watching her carefully in case she fainted at any moment.

If Lily noticed his concern, she ignored it and continued to banter with him. "You seem to be saying that a lot. Do you always make this many mistakes?" Lily asked tartly as they reached the gargoyle guardian. It stood unmoving, but its eyes looked towards the head students for the password.

"Lemon Drops," said James as the massive statue moved to reveal the stairway to the headmaster's office. "I'll pass on that question." He held his arm away from him, indicating for Lily to go first. The young wizard had been given etiquette lessons for several years until it had become second nature to him. She nodded in thanks, wondering what had changed his attitude towards her. He had been a little standoffish in Transfiguration class because she had brought him down a notch or two.

The two directed the bodies of the four students up the stairs and James followed Lily up the stairs. "Are you always this critical of everyone?"

She gave him a saccharine smile. "Just of gits."

"How can you say that if you only met me this morning?!" the young wizard protested.

"Very easily," she said, trying hard not to laugh at his expression. The pain from the Cruciatus curse was quickly fading, although her wrist was starting to swell.

He frowned. "Now that's not very nice. Seriously though, I've apologized for both mistakes."

They stepped into Dumbledore's office as he patiently waited for them to finish. An amused smile crossed his lips as he sat in the chair with his blue pajamas with crescent moons under his purple robe. They didn't even notice him as they continued arguing.

"First off, you've just insulted me again by implying that you didn't notice me for _seven years _despite the fact that we've shared exactly the same classes for those same seven years. Second, you haven't apologized for that new insult. And by my conclusion, if you make more mistakes faster than you can apologize for them, then you are indeed a git," Lily finished, her eyes tired, but with good spirit. Then she realized she was in the headmaster's office and not alone with James. "Headmaster! Why didn't you stop me?" she asked embarrassed.

James smirked. At least he wasn't the only one shamed in front of Dumbledore.

The old man smiled gently. "Because my dear Miss Evans, you looked like you were having such an intriguing conversation-"

"Monologue." James coughed into his hand softly so that only Lily could hear. She shot him a dirty look.

"with our young Mr. Potter here." Then the old wizard, first class of Merlin, became serious, looking tired with age and with relentless battles. "What brings our two head students here at such an hour?"

James looked over at Lily who turned her head away, remembering the effects of the Cruciatus curse. He watched her as she bit her lip and met the Headmaster's eyes.

He spoke for her. "These four I believe were attacking Lily, Professor. I only managed to get there at the last minute and stop Lucius from hitting her with a hex of some sort. She had already managed to get the other three though."

"I see," said the old wizard. "And before that Miss Evans?"

"They were whispering in the halls, sir, about meeting their 'lord.' I suspected it was Voldemort and I wanted to take them to you. So I confronted them and started to follow them here when I tripped and they . . . they used curses on me."

"Which curses Miss Evans?" His eyes full of sorrow. Lily could tell Dumbledore already knew the answer.

The redheaded witch closed her eyes trying to forget. . . Then she felt one of James's hands on her shoulder for support and thanked him mentally. "The Cruciatus curse sir," she said, keeping her voice steady. "That's when Lucius came over and was going to do another spell but I stopped him in self-defense. Then I bound the others."

The headmaster nodded sympathetically. "Do you know who used the curse on you Miss Evans?"

She shook her head, sighing. "No sir, they were hooded."

"These are dark times indeed, when four of own turn against fellow students," the old wizard said softly. "That will be all. Miss Evans, I recommend that you go the hospital wing."

Lily gave him a half-smile. "Thank you Headmaster, but you alone know why I will not."

Dumbledore nodded. "Indeed. I will tell some of the house elves to bring hot chocolate and some food to your room. That should help a little. Is there any other injury you have?"

Lily bit her lip and shook her head, avoiding his penetrating gaze. She would deal with the broken wrist on her own. After all, she hadn't studied healing charms for nothing during summer break.

"Very well, you both may go. Mr. Potter, if you could see Ms. Evans gets back to her room safely before you go back to yours. I will deal with these four."

The two students nodded and left.

* * *

He wanted to crack a joke to lighten the situation, but looking over to his companion, he knew his efforts would be in vain. They walked in silence to the head students' rooms and Lily paused in front of the portrait.

James looked at her hopefully.

"You have to leave," she stated bluntly. She didn't care if she was being rude, but Lily wanted to rest. She was going to fix her wrist, and perhaps drink and eat a little before collapsing on the bed.

The wizard raised an eyebrow. "I'm supposed to see you safely in your room." He crossed his arms and gave her a stern look over his glasses. Lily held back a laugh at his serious demeanor.

"Yes yes, I'm here, safe and sound. You can go now." She made a shooing motion with her hands.

"But I can't hear the password then!" he joked.

She snorted. "Exactly. I don't need a pervert coming in to my room at all times thanks."

James began walking towards his room but turned around. Lily was waiting impatiently for him to be out of hearing range. He wiggled his eyebrows mischievously. "How about half the time?"

It was lucky he had good reflexes, or he would have been hit by the hex that the redhead shot at him.


	4. Comfort

* * *

**_Chapter 4: Comfort_**

**_By: Almicene Melwen_**

**_Updated: August 11, 2004_**

* * *

"You sure you're alright Lily?" Persephone asked cautiously, wanting to see how her friend was doing while trying to not upset her.

The petite redhead sighed. "Yes I'm sure." Now she was beginning to regret mentioning the incident to her friend.

"It's too bad Lucius didn't get expelled though . . ." Seph offered, tossing in a sympathetic glance.

"Yeah well . . . apparently he wasn't the one that shot off _that_ curse." The boy that had put the Unforgivable on her had been expelled, while the others had been suspended for two weeks for attacking a student. Not surprisingly, Lucius had managed to get out of being suspended or expelled, despite the fact he was going to put another Unforgivable on her. She sighed, the things people could get away with by having a lot of money and power. Lily shifted uncomfortably in her seat as she nibbled on a croissant with dainty fingers. Focusing all her attention on the soft yet crispy warm piece of bakery, the witch gave a small satisfied smile, ignoring the thoughts that she would have to spend double potions with the Slytherin first thing in the morning. She had been getting nasty stares from a few of them upon entering the Great Hall. Apparently she wasn't on their most popular list for getting one of their own expelled and others suspended.

Her bliss was short lived as her violet-eyed friend groaned.

Lily raised an inquiring eyebrow. "What?"

Persephone gave the redhead an annoyed look. "_This_ is all _your_fault," she hissed, jabbing a finger into Lily's arm. The elegantly dressed witch seemed to slide a little further down in her seat.

Lily was about to inquire what exactly was her fault this time when she saw a note magically appear on Persephone's now empty plate. The dirty blonde shoved the note at Lily, crossing her arms and huffing.

The redhead opened the piece of parchment slowly. What if there was something that would scar her for life on that paper?

"_Oh for Heaven's sake_," she mentally chided herself and quickly opened the note. She spotted what could only be from Sirius's handwriting and her best friend's response.

**To the loveliest seventh year witch named Persephone:**

**How about 6:30 P.M. at the Astronomy Tower tonight?**

****

**_How about sod off!_**

. . . **7 P.M.?**

****

**_Argh_****_! Just leave me alone Sirius._**

**. . . Too early huh? 8 P.M.?**

**Seph?**** 9 then? I can make time for you . . . Seph? Darling?**

Lily laughed at Sirius's antics, earning another glare from Persephone, who snatched back the note. "I don't see what's so funny Lily."

The redhead smirked when she saw Persephone hastily tucking the note into her book bag. "I have to give the guy credit. He's definitely persistent."

"Yeah – thanks to you!" the seventh-year sputtered out, not noticing Professor McGonagall approaching.

Lily began to laugh again, but immediately sobered when the teacher stood beside Persephone. The grim look on her Transfiguration teacher's face did not bode well. "Hello Professor, what can I do for you?" she asked politely, expecting Head business. Professor McGonagall turned her eyes to Lily, as if just noticing she was there.

"Oh, not you Miss Evans," the elder witch answered slowly. "Miss Olwen . . . the Headmaster would like to speak with you."

"About?" she asked bluntly, nervous at the look on McGonagall's face.

"Please, just come with me."

Lily gave Persephone a reassuring squeeze on the arm as her friend got up quickly and followed Professor McGonagall out of the hall.

Hopefully her friend wasn't in trouble for sneaking around the hall after hours.

* * *

The Head Girl sat in one of the front seats, wanting to be the good student. She shifted a little nervously as the Slytherins saw her unaccompanied by Persephone. Lucius passed by her desk, giving her a cold smile, whispering as he passed, "It was _your_ fault – wonder if your blood traitor of a friend will thank you later."

Lily gave him a confused but angry stare. She continued glaring at his back as if she would be able to make him suffer if she just thought hard enough.

Then she felt a warm hand upon her shoulder. Whipping around, startled, she met the kind eyes of James Potter. "Mind if I sit there?" He pointed to the empty seat next to her.

Still a bit shaken by Malfoy's smug look, she nodded. James's presence was comforting and he'd keep Lucius away if his aggressiveness during Quidditch was any indication.

He gave her a lopsided smile and slid into the seat next to her. "Don't worry about that git," he said in a quiet voice, "he's always causing trouble." James gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, making Lily's cheeks tinge with color at his friendliness. She'd have to ask him later why he had gotten so much nicer to her in the last couple of days.

But despite the comfort he offered, Lily couldn't help but feel worried.

* * *

Holding a plate of food from dinner in her hand, Lily headed towards the Gryffindor common room. So far, Seph hadn't shown up for any of their classes. Perhaps she had been called away by her parents for some emergency? The redhead frowned as she gave the Pink Lady the password and the door swung open.

There on an armchair in the corner scrunched up in a ball was Persephone. The girl was shivering despite the heat from the fireplace. Lily approached her longtime friend cautiously.

"Seph?" she asked concerned. "I brought you some food back from dinner." She offered the sandwich towards the witch but it was quickly smacked out of her hand and sent flying across the room.

"Get away from me!" Persephone hissed, leaping out of the chair. "You know what's your problem? You always had to be little miss goody two shoes, having to report everyone for doing anything wrong!" her voice began to grow louder and soon the people on the other side of the common room couldn't help but overhear the conversation.

"Seph?" Lily asked confused and hurt. "What happened?" She didn't understand what could have made her friend so upset to lash out at her.

Her friend gave a bitter laugh. "Yeah, easy for you to say – 'what happened?' Why do you care?!" she shrieked, as angry tears spilled down her face. She thrust a crumpled letter towards Lily. "It's entirely your fault they're gone! I hate you so much!" she spat, angrily wiping away the tears. Hissing, she added, "You are so lucky that using an Unforgivable is illegal!" With that, Persephone ran off up the stairs to the girls' dormitories, dark blonde hair flying wildly.

Lily sucked in a deep breath, trying not to feel as if her friend had hurt her deeply. She began to read the letter.

**_Dear Ms. Olwen,_**

**_ By the time you read this letter you will have learned of your parents' deaths. It is with great pleasure that I tell you the reason why they had been selected. If it hadn't been for your friendship with the Mudblood, Lily Evans, who hindered the Dark Lord's plans, then your parents wouldn't have been tortured to death for hours by our master himself. What fun that was, but I digress. I hope you have learned your lesson about the trouble Mudbloods cause._**

****

**_Sincerely,_**

**_A Concerned Death Eater_**

****

Connecting the pieces together, Lily remembered what Lucius had told her early. She crumpled the letter angrily as tears fell from her eyes.

"Lily?" a deep male voice interrupted her.

Turning around she met the concerned eyes of James, whose eyes widened at the sight of her tears. Instinctively he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her. He stroked her hair soothingly, not making empty promises of reassurance.

"I promise that Voldemort will pay," she said angrily, clutching to the black-haired wizard as tears streaked down her lovely pale face. "Even if it's the last thing I ever do, I will bring him down," she swore.

* * *

"J'aime Quidditch," James said in a low voice. He knew Lily could hear him, but as long as no one else could, he'd be fine.

Lily managed to wipe away her tears and brought her bright green eyes to meet his as his door swung open. "Two questions – how do you know French and why did you let me hear your password?"

James turned his gaze away from her uncomfortably as she plopped down onto the soft maroon couch in his room. "I just picked it up from uh . . . vacation in France with my parents." He wasn't lying, but it wasn't the complete truth either. "As for the second question – I don't mind a _certain '_pervert' coming in my room at _any _time." He winked at her.

The redheaded witch sighed softly and shook her head. She knew exactly what James was doing. She appreciated that he was trying to lighten the mood, but she felt a numbness that no jokes would take away any time soon.

He continued teasing her, trying to make her feel better. "Don't worry; you're the only one that knows my password. I won't call you a pervert if you give me your password too."

"James!" she said, her eyes opening wide at his persistence.

"Oooh, say my name again," he teased, coming closer to her on the couch.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," she murmured and rose to leave, thinking he didn't understand that it wasn't the time for banter.

He grabbed her arm and pulled her back down. "I'm sorry. I'll behave." She gave him an incredulous look as if to say, 'you behave?' "Er," he ruffled his hair from nervousness, "as best as I can anyways."

She sighed and curled up into a ball. "Thanks for leading me out of the common room . . ."

James waved the back of his hand at her, dismissing the importance. "It was nothing."

"_It . . . meant a lot to me_," she wanted to say, but no words came out. Instead she looked away from him suddenly feeling very alone. Her best friend wanted nothing to do with her, and she wasn't close to anyone else. She wanted to tell Persephone that it wasn't her fault and she was sorely grieved by the loss of Persephone's parents as well. Seph couldn't know how much she had hurt her friend by the accusation it had been Lily's fault.

Lily lifted her eyes to James, planning on thanking him for his kindness and leaving before she would be any more of a bother to him. But instead she started to cry. She covered her face with her hands, but James moved them. Pulling her to his chest, he held her as she wept softly about the unfairness of life and fate. He held her even when the tears stopped and she fell asleep. He held her even long after he lost the feeling in his arms and the sun began to rise.

* * *


	5. Changes

* * *

**_Chapter 5: Doubts_**

**_By: Almicene Melwen_**

**_Updated: August 12, 2004_**

* * *

A confused young lavender-eyed witch sat, tucked away forgotten by all of Hogwarts' students. All except for one, who studied the heartbroken girl, muffling her sobs into the sleeve of a faded purple sweater that her mother had given her so long ago. The looming shadows and cold stones arched around the girl, hiding her away from the world, but not reality. Wild thriving ivy crawled up the ancient castle as she curled into a ball into a limestone bench roughly etched into the building itself. The soft hoots of the owls and the chirping of crickets were the only sounds she heard.

She had no one.

There would be no home to go back to for the summer, no more family dinners or the teasing of her father about any new boyfriends. She'd never get to smell the warm coffee mixed with a unique scent of security that was always embedded in her father's shirts. Persephone would never hear her father call her "squirt" again while holding things above her head, teasing her.

She had no father, and no mother. Not even aunts, uncles or any relatives she knew of. It had always been them against the bitterness of reality. They had kept her safe and loved tucked away in her mother's embrace as yet another boy broke her heart, as the world became dangerous from Death Eater attacks and Voldemort.

And Lily had taken it all away from her. If she hadn't reported Lucius and his horrible Death Eater friends, then she would still have her parents. But then why was guilt clutching her heart when she remembered the hurt etched on the face of her best friend when she blamed her. It was all her fault wasn't it? If only she hadn't been friends with her then she'd have her family back. She'd give anything to see her parents waiting for her at the train station at the end of the year. But she would not be given a choice. Death did not bargain.

Persephone wrapped herself into a tighter ball, her large soft sweater protecting her from the cold of the night, but not from reality. She buried her eyes into the folds of her arms. Her hair was in a hastily done French twist, but at least out of the way of her seemingly infinite tears.

And he just watched her, underneath the silvery folds of the Invisibility cloak he had 'borrowed' from James. He stood, long lean legs crossed as he supported himself against a young oak tree just watching. And she became a real person to him that night. He knew exactly how she felt – to have everything ripped away, to have no family to go back to.

Sirius knew that this private display of grief was not meant for him to see, but he couldn't break himself away from her pain and her need. It beckoned him and in response he took a couple of steps toward her. He wasn't any good at comforting anyone and it scared him to see the raw emotion this girl he had thought of as tough was showing. But he braved the fear that gripped him and took another couple of steps forward.

He knew was unworthy, but Sirius felt she deserved at least the little he could offer – empathy.

Suddenly the wildflowers he had held in his hand seemed inappropriate and inadequate to give her. He stopped walking towards her, and froze as his worn brown dragonhide boots stepped on dry leaves.

_Crunch._

_"_Bloody hell," he cursed to himself quietly.

Persephone whipped her head up, her hand reaching for her wand immediately. She hastily wiped at her eyes, trying to cover her tears. "Who's there?" she demanded shakily.

Sirius remained undecided, and his heart reproached him for his reluctance to comfort her.

The dirty-blonde haired witch laughed softly, bitterly. "I hope whoever or whatever is hiding kills me. I can't take this any more. . . I just can't." Her soft lavender eyes began to leak with crystalline liquid again. Unknowingly her eyes met Sirius's and he was taken back by the hollowness he saw. She quickly turned away and began to cry into her arms again.

That made up his mind. He removed the cloak with one fluid motion of his hand and walked in long, quick strides towards her. Persephone sniffled, and her eyes widened upon seeing her visitor. She waited to speak as his legs brought him over to her. He crouched down in front of her and almost shyly brought out the splendid bouquet of pink, purple, and white flowers that he had picked earlier. He felt like a small schoolboy giving a pretty teacher too small a gift.

"Sirius?" she asked uncertainly. She didn't understand what he was doing there, or if it was just her imagination. Confusion was etched onto her features.

"I wanted you to have these . . . but they seem . . . now. . ." he said, hesitatingly. The flowers were wilted from the heat of his hand and the hours he had held them with indecision. He had made sure no one saw him picking . . . flowers of all things. He couldn't imagine the fun Snape would have had with that.

She stared wordlessly at his outstretched offering of small white blossoms mixed with the red daisies, the Forget-Me-Nots and the purple lilacs. It was strangely appropriate. His thoughtfulness touched her.

Sirius became nervous and began to retract the flowers, thinking he had been right in the pettiness of the gift but her voice stopped him.

"Thank you," she whispered, her eyes meeting his. Her voice was hoarse from crying and the coolness of the night air.

He pulled her into his embrace and away from the coldness of the stone that had once supported her.

She didn't turn into his arms, instead she kissed his lips hungrily, desperately trying anything that would take the pain away. Initially Sirius kissed her back, his hands pulling her body closer to him. She tasted so wonderful and he had wanted to kiss her for a while. Persphone moaned, opening her mouth to him, slipping her hands under his shirt.

That was when Sirius pulled away, breathing heavily. Her hands underneath his shirt had shocked him back to reality. "No." She reached for him again, thinking that at least it would numb the pain. She didn't want to feel the heartache. Sirius kept her at an arm's length distance. "No, don't tempt me Seph. I know what you're doing, and I promise that when you're feeling better that if you want to continue this I won't say no. But not now, love. This isn't what you need."

She just nodded as tears began to form again. Sirius pulled her to his chest.

She'd give anything to have her parents back.

* * *

Lily found herself in the arms of the Gryffindor Quidditch captain the next morning. His messy black hair was still untamed and ruffled from sleep. His glasses were halfway down his nose, but his warm arms were still around her. She enjoyed the guilty pleasure of having him wrapped around her for just a few minutes and then slowly got up. What was happening between them? Why was James being so nice to her? She wondered if he pitied her, or someone had told him about her parents. But she doubted the second reason, only Persephone knew part of what had happened to her parents.

Smoothing out her black work robes, she drew her shapely long legs to her, and carefully dislodged herself from James. Freeing her hair, the soft curls flew down. She combed her hands roughly with her fingers and then stretched her slender form. Her eyes wandered around the room and she caught sight of something on the carpet.

It was a twig oddly enough, and she quickly transformed it into a flower using the spell Professor McGonagall had taught them a few days before. She had finally gotten the spell down after hours of practice in her room. Lily had cursed James more and more vehemently as the hours had passed for being able to do it so effortlessly.

Twirling her wand, and softly uttering the incantation, the small stalk changed into a delicate stargazer lily.

The redhead raised her eyebrow in amusement. So James had been around lilies recently then or had them in his room. The only way that the twig would have turned into this particular flower was if it was from a dead lily stalk. She left the flower on top of the thick red blanket she placed on James.

Quickly writing a note, she smirked as she reread it before attaching it to the flower:

_"For the git who I couldn't help but notice . . . thanks. P.S. Poetry isn't your best point."_

* * *

The following days were some of the hardest Lily and Persephone had been through. The lavender-eyed witch pointedly gave her old friend cold stares, and looks of intense hatred, as if her pain would lessen by passing it to Lily.

Lily was barely managing to cope with Persephone's attitude towards her let alone Head Girl duties, and classes. But the more Persephone distanced herself from Lily, the more James insisted on getting closer to her, for reasons the redhead suspected but wasn't sure. She didn't know how much of an effect she was having on James. He used to go for strolls in the forest as his stag counterpart after Friday classes. And now he was actually doing next week's homework on Friday! She couldn't understand the Quidditch Captain's sudden interest in her wellbeing and told him so while they were studying in the library on the Friday after classes.

"James . . ." Lily began, bringing her pensive green eyes to his dark blue ones.

"Hm?" he asked in a deep voice, distracted by the beautiful shade of green in his study partner's eyes.

"Why didn't you get to know me before this year?" she asked, studying his reaction.

The black-haired wizard was taken back. He ruffled his hair with his hand, thinking. "I suppose . . ." he said after a while, looking deep in thought, "it's because Hogwart's requirements for the length of girls' skirts have gotten shorter this year. I mean you've got the nicest pair of legs that-"

Lily's foot immediately shot out towards James's most sensitive spot. He managed to block in time, thanks to Lucius no less. The Slytherin's slight limp for a couple of days after 'The Incident' had done wonders to remind guys of Lily's strength and particular adeptness. James had definitely not forgotten as he almost winced in sympathy for the Slytherin every time Lucius cringed as he sat down.

Beads of sweat glistened on his head as the wizard breathed in a sigh of relief. That had been much too close for any measure of comfort. James grabbed her hand, just as he had done a few nights ago. "Relax Lily! I was just kidding."

She didn't say anything. Rather she stood and raised her eyebrow at his comment. Lily was a little annoyed at James's ability to dodge questions he didn't want to answer by turning them into jokes. She couldn't know that it was because of years of practice of being hounded by girls in France.

The Gryffindor chaser realizing what he thought was his mistake quickly rushed out his next few words: "Er- I mean your legs are really the best-"

Lily stood wordlessly and raised her eyebrow even higher, crossing her arms and hiding a smile.

"Forget that last part. I-er- Lily!" he yelled across the library since she had walked out after his last statement. Grabbing his things he ran after her, not waiting for the librarian's reaction.

She took off to the grassy grounds of Hogwarts, by the lake and he easily caught up. "Lily-"

The redhead witch burst out laughing. "That- that was _so _funny. James- James," she said, clutching her stomach as she fell on the ground, still thinking about the distress on his face.

The tall young wizard frowned deeply, looming over Lily. "That wasn't funny. You know I was worried that you were actually mad at me!" he said waving his hands. He pouted and crossed his arms, now upset with her.

That only caused her to laugh more. "You're scared of me being mad at you?!" She lay completely on the floor, holding herself, trying to stop laughing. It was quite painful by this point and Lily knew she would be sore tomorrow.

"Yes, would you like to be reminded who got voted 'Most Knowledgeable of Wicked Hexes?' A certain Gryffindor redhead, and there's only one in our year before you ask. And I KNOW Lucius wasn't grimacing from the thought of having to sit next to Snape every hour," he defended himself. When Lily still laughed at his fear of her, he got annoyed and leapt at her, his fingers outstretched, aiming for her most ticklish spot.

"NO!" Lily screamed, seeing his intention, trying to back up, but failing. Grinning madly his quick fingers reached their destination and he tickled her mercilessly.

"Take that you little witch!" James said, his eyes gleaming triumphantly as Lily's eyes filled with tears from laughing too hard.

"I-i-s that supposed to b-be an insult?" she choked out, trying to back out of James's reach.

He grinned wickedly, throwing her question right back at her. "Is 'git' an insult coming from you? Because I'm starting to take it as a term of endearment."

She rolled her eyes as he finally stopped tickling her. "Please James. You're starting to sound like Lockhart."

"Hey!" James gave her a mock frown. "Take that back! I'm not Lockhart in any way, shape or form!"

The redhead looked him up and down pointedly. James puffed out his chest proudly and flexed more muscles than were necessary. "You're right," she conceded, getting up slowly.

The corners of his mouth moved up in a smile. "Of course I'm right-"

She interrupted him with an impish smile, stretching her legs.

"He's got a better body."

She ran as quickly as her legs could carry her, laughing merrily as James grabbed both of their bags and sprinted to get her back.

And in those few hours, the worries of Voldemort, the decline of the wizarding world, prejudices were all forgotten, as two Hogwarts students lived out a part of their young lives.

* * *

His new favorite place had to be the patch of stargazer lilies he had found growing near a small stream in the Forbidden Forest. It had nothing to do with the fact they reminded him of Lily of course. Pawing the ground with his hoof, James laid down near the flowers as he sniffed the air with his nose. He was beginning to neglect his friends and his duties as Head Boy and Quidditch captain for Lily. James rarely had time to himself because he was so busy. It was moments like these that soothed him. The slivers of moonlight shone on the forest, illuminating the silver water, and called to the night creatures. Pixies flitted about glowing mushroom groves, busy preparing for the winter as a family of unicorns played under the luminescent moon.

The peace of the moment didn't escape James as he thought about the chaos he would have to face when winter break came. Reporters seriously needed to take vacations too and leave him well alone. The stag snorted. As if that would ever happen as long as he remained one of the richest bachelors in all of France.

James's thoughts traveled from one thing to another as he thought of the upcoming Quidditch game. He wondered if Lily would be there cheering him on. He thought of their brief friendship and wondered why the hell it had taken him so long to notice her. She was quickly becoming one of his closest friends. James thought he could even tell her the truth about what kind of life he led at home. He decided he would ask his best friends about the dilemma and what they thought of the redhead. They would give him more perspective on what to do.

Animal instincts taking over, James rolled around in the grass near the lilies, scratching his back against small pebbles in the lush grass snorting happily.

* * *

"Absolutely not," said Peter. "You should not tell Lily about your life in France. What happens if she's one of those women that throw their bras at you to get your attention so you might give them a chance."

Sirius, Remus, and James raised their eyebrows. James was the first to speak.

"What kind of women have you been hanging around Pete?"

"Obviously the ones I want to be around!" Sirius jumped in. His eyes gleamed mischievously. "So where is this?"

Remus frowned. "Back to the original question. I have to say give it more time James. You just started getting to know her. No need to give more information than necessary at this point. You two aren't even going out are you?"

James ran his hand through his hair and shook his head. "That's the thing Remus, I don't know how far I want it to go. I just don't know." He sighed and looked at his watch. James headed for the door. "Thanks guys. I'll have to think things over. Meanwhile I have to tutor some 6th year."

* * *

The raven-haired girl smiled flirtatiously at her tutor, wrapping a strand of hair around her finger. She smiled, nodding at whatever James explained. Finally he realized she wasn't paying attention to the transfiguration text. "Did you even hear anything I said?" he said exasperated.

Rhea nodded again, still smiling at James.

He frowned. Sure she was pretty with her black hair, fair skin and big brown eyes, but he was beginning to wonder if she even spoke English. "Can you even speak English?"

She blinked, batting her eyelashes at the handsome wizard. She nodded.

"Argh," James growled. This had been a complete waste of effort on his part. He could have read French literature to her and she would have learned just about the same amount. "Okay, I'm leaving now. L-e-a-v-i-n-g. It was nice meeting you. Goodbye." James got up quickly, trying to avoid any form of conversation, but not fast enough as Rhea came out of her trance.

"What? Why? I haven't learned anything yet." Her brown eyes pleaded with him to stay longer. She was so enthralled by how handsome he was that she could care less what came out of his mouth.

James snorted. "That I can't help you with." He shook his head at her, gathering the books that he had brought and left the library. His patience was shot and he was aggravated by having wasted his time. James smirked as he realized Quidditch practice was in 15 minutes.

It was time to out his frustrations.

* * *

The British born reporter sat, legs on his desk, chewing the end of his quill. He had recently been transferred to this office as his wife wanted to stay with family during her pregnancy. That had been fine with him, but as the newcomer to the office he had gotten the worst assignments, such as the thrill of pet owners at the opening of a new park in their neighborhood. He snorted, grumbling to himself and promising that one day he would be ordering his boss around on dirty assignments. His co-worker, Pierre passed him as he was daydreaming, accidentally dropping a piece of parchment.

Matthian, or Matt for short, picked it up and noticed the headline before handing it back. His curiosity got control of his tongue before his brain could, "Why are you reporting on him?"

Pierre gave him a strange look, "Because he is one of the hottest topics in France." Pierre didn't think Britain was that outdated, but if Matt didn't know this person then . . .

"Really?" Matt frowned, thinking back to his days in Britain. "I didn't think he was that popular in France as well as Britain. I mean he's not even known to most people unless they're looking for a potential Quidditch superstar."

"What?" Pierre almost dropped his papers in surprise. Perhaps the newcomer could help him with the story every reporter was trying to get.

"You have a picture of him?" Matt asked, ideas forming in his sandy blond head. "Maybe we are talking about different people."

"Non. No one has been able to get a good shot of him. They call him the Elusive. He's very camera shy and very well guarded. We don't even know where he goes to school or if he is home schooled." Pierre did hand a wizard photograph of the family to Matt, watching his features very carefully for any sign of recognition.

Matt's eyes narrowed, trying to see under the cap the youngest Potter was wearing. "_So there's more to you than just Quidditch star eh?"_ he thought. He recognized the parents immediately and an idea struck him. "I'll make you a deal Pierre."

The Frenchman listened intently, trying not to get his hopes up. But if he were the one to get a story on him. . .

"No more crappy assignments for me, I work with you on the headline stories, **and **I get a better office. Then I'll tell you where he is."

Pierre's eyes sparkled as he shook hands with Matt without any hesitation. "Deal, but you are coming with me to find Elusive."

* * *


	6. Progression

* * *

**_Chapter 6_**

**_By: Almicene Melwen_**

**_Updated: August 16, 2004_**

****

**Author's Note: Every chapter to this one has been updated and new material added, while other parts have been taken away. For the next chapter (which is currently being written) to make any sense, you need to reread all six chapters. Thanks for your patience and support.**

* * *

"Finally back to see us old timers eh?" Peter remarked, not looking up from his game of chess with Remus. It was the weekend and students were getting ready to go to Hogsmeade. Many were still adding scarves and coats as the chilly autumn wind would be present outside the castle. The three boys, Peter, Remus, and Sirius were waiting on James to leave for the trip.

James gave him a sheepish grin as he slid into an adjacent chair to watch the game. "Been busy."

Sirius coughed into his hand, pretending to be discrete. "Lily."

"All I have to say to you Padfoot, is 'Persephone,'" James shot back at him.

It was his turn to look guilty. "I'm helping her with . . . uh," the dark-eyed young man fumbled for an excuse, "Astronomy!"

Remus raised an eyebrow at that proclamation. "Are you helping her fail the class then? Because if memory serves, you didn't do terribly well last year."

"Oh shut it Moony," he sniped. "Just because I failed doesn't mean I don't know the material." Sirius huffed and looked indignant.

All three other boys looked up from what they were doing and gave Sirius a pointed look.

He raised his hands in surrender and they went back to their business. "Ok ok, so maybe I'm not tutoring her in Astronomy. So what?" He sighed, lifting his legs across the couch, and settling in comfortably. He left it at that, not wanting to reveal too much information about Persephone, but the others still knew anyways.

"She's still mad at Lily then?" James asked casually, knowing that Persephone's hatred was hurting Lily.

Sirius blew his bangs away from his face as he fidgeted with a Quidditch magazine. "Yeah." His voice became sad. "And I doubt she'll realize it wasn't Lily's fault any time soon."

James frowned.

"Bugger."

* * *

Was it powdered graphorn horn or powdered unicorn horn? Or maybe it wasn't either? Was she supposed to add salamander blood or salamander eggs? The ingredients were covered by her hand as she struggled to mentally recite the recipe for a simple memory potion.

Lily gave a cry of frustration and sent her notes over the table with a swipe of her hand. Nothing was helping her concentrate for the Potion's quiz tomorrow. Thoughts of her former friend kept her occupied with grief and guilt as Lily had been close to the Olwens. She kept thinking about sending a note apologizing to Persephone for the loss of her parents, but that would have been akin to admitting the Olwen family's deaths were her fault. She had already sent a sympathy note, but that had been returned very rudely by her disgruntled owl, Artemis, who Persephone had thrown things at.

The redhead honestly didn't know what to do. She didn't even know if she had a choice in keeping the friendship any more. Persephone obviously wanted nothing to do with her. Did that mean she should give up trying? Lily sighed, and lay on the comfy red duvet of her bed.

The young witch was glad she was in her private quarters. Although James had been so kind to her in the past few days, she needed to be alone. His reassurances that she had done nothing wrong did little to quell her doubts about her role in the deaths. She felt guilty that she wasn't feeling any better about Persephone despite his best efforts.

Perhaps what she needed was to vent her frustrations and her anxieties. Lily smiled. She knew just what to do. Grabbing her Gryffindor scarf, she headed out the door.

* * *

The four Marauders took the normal way for once to Hogsmeade, through the Hogswarts provided carriages waiting in front. Climbing into one the four were quiet as the horses started to pull them through the forest on the road. The forest held many memories for all of them and each one of them were reflecting on how they would miss Hogwarts once they graduated at the end of spring.

Sirius broke their heavy thoughts. "So why is it I had to sacrifice a perfectly good dating weekend to spend it with three uglies in this carriage?"

"Sirius, it's only a sacrifice if you're giving something up," James smirked.

Peter added, "Don't blame us if no girl wanted to go with you to Hogsmeade." He grinned, knowing that they had just insulted Sirius's pride if the wide open mouth effect was any indication.

"What?! Are you saying I couldn't find a date?!" He gasped. "I'll have you know I am seven year Hogwarts dating champion!"

"Which is exactly why you're on a date with a pretty witch right now," Remus said sarcastically.

Sirius scowled fiercely at the werewolf, grumbling "Smart ass." The words didn't escape Remus's sharpened senses.

"Well technically it's 'smart wolf.'" Remus grinned at Sirius.

Peter and James chuckled as Sirius's scowl deepened. "Yeah, just laugh it up now mates. But wait until next Hogsmeade trip when I'm sitting in a carriage surrounded by the prettiest witches while you three have to go all alone next time."

As they joked around in the carriage, making fun of each other, they didn't realize the carriage had stopped until they heard other students getting out of theirs. Once the Marauders got out, they headed towards Honeydukes first, as they had promised Peter earlier.

On the way to Honeydukes, James noticed a small pet shop called Mauve's Menagerie of Magical Animals that he had never noticed before. Pausing, he looked into the shop window and saw a wide assortment of birds, cats, kneazles and more in the store. He promised himself he would go back later.

At Honeydukes for what seemed like a small eternity, Sirius, Remus and James waited outside for Peter, who was busy stocking up on all the chocolate frogs and sweets he could. James shoved his hands into his expensive, thick designer robes as he stared at the cobblestones. He wondered how Lily was doing.

"Your mind is wandering," Sirius remarked. "Thinking about Snape_ again_?" He gave a dramatic shudder for effect.

James frowned. That thought was too disgusting for a reply, so he quickly diverted the attention away from himself. "Why are you here with us Padfoot?" he asked, his curiosity getting the better of him. Sirius had been recently joined to the hip with some blonde Gryffindor he couldn't remember the name of.

"Meaning?" Sirius quirked an eyebrow.

"Why aren't you with what's-her-name?" the hazel-eyed wizard asked, glad that he could switch the topic of conversation.

"Persephone," supplied Remus.

"Oh, well, she wanted to stay at Hogwarts this time. Something about needing peace and quiet," Sirius grumbled, unhappy about that fact. It wasn't as if he had rushed her into anything. He had remained uncharacteristically devoted to her as a friend, despite any romantic feelings he had for her. It wasn't the right time to pursue it. She needed time to grieve.

"Obviously," James gave him a small smile. "Merlin knows no one can get that around you."

Sirius spun to face James, giving him a mock-glare. "I can be quiet!"

The black-haired wizard smirked. "Yeah, right," he said. Finding a pause in the conversation, James decided to use the opportunity to look at Mauve's Menagerie of Magical Animals. "I'll be right back. There was a shop we passed by that I want to look into," James stated, nodding in another direction. Remus nodded, and James walked off as Sirius shot another comment at the James's back.

"Try not to stalk Snape for too long now!"

Sirius didn't even get a reply in response. James must have really wanted to go to the shop. Remus waited patiently while Sirius thought of the best way to annoy the werewolf.

"Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer," he sung badly. Sirius wanted to see how long it would take for the werewolf to overpower Remus's patience.

A growl erupted after beer bottle number fifty and Remus's hand clamped over Sirius's throat. "Any other horrible Yank drinking song I will personally see to it that you don't utter a note over the next couple of days."

Sirius laughed in between gasping for air. "The wolf in you doesn't have much patience."

Remus smirked as he released his grip. "Oh no, that was all me Padfoot. The wolf wouldn't have given you a warning."

Sirius wisely stopped singing, whether it was from intelligence or the fact Pete just came out no one could say.

Their smaller and pudgier friend hurried out of the store with a large bag of candy, specifically chocolate frogs. He wanted to collect the Morgan Le Fay card so badly that not only had he bought several chocolate frogs, but the entire store supply of frogs. He panted, as he had rushed to keep his friends from waiting too long. "Just so you know Sirius," he remarked. "I could hear _everything _you said – including the part where you admitted you thought about Snape all the time."

Sirius's eyes widened. "I didn't-" he sputtered.

Peter raised one hand in surrender, as the other took the weight of the bags. "Don't look at me, but I'm pretty sure Snape heard you too." He nodded towards the opposite side of the street where Severus was indeed giving Sirius a very nasty look, before spinning on his heel and walking away. Most of the people walking had overheard snippets of what Sirius had told James, and looked away as Sirius glared at them for staring.

"Ugh . . ." Sirius moaned, shaking his head. "I'm never going to live that one down am I?"

Remus snorted, as Peter tried to comfort his friend. "If it makes you feel any better, I think you've made a couple of guys' day," he said, motioning to a few young wizards who were eyeing Sirius hungrily.

"Yeah, thanks mate," the dark-eyed wizard said sarcastically. "I feel a _whole _lot better."

"Where's James?" said Pete, looking around for the tall messy-haired wizard.

"He went to the new pet store that opened," Sirius said, and then added with a snicker, "Probably looking for his mate since he can't seem to find a girl he's willing to go out with."

"You really really need to get out more Padfoot," said Remus. Peter could only agree.

* * *

Curiosity drew him in, and he decided he would take a quick look around while Pete took his time at Honeydukes. The bell above the door tinkled as James went in. Owls hooted wildly as the small sound excited them and frogs croaked at their newest visitor, but James was drawn to the cat cages. One cat more than any of the others struck his fancy. It was a tabby cat, the lighter orange stripes running along its body like tiger stripes he had seen in a Muggle zoo. The feet of the cat were all a light orange color, and it looked incredibly sad as it pawed the bars of the cage. It made a sound in between a squeak and a very soft 'meow.'

"She's our newest one," said a woman coming up behind James, noting his interest.

"Why does she look so sad?" he asked, sticking a finger in the cage, which the cat immediately nuzzled against.

"She wants you to take her home," said the woman, giving him her best sales pitch. "She just adores you." Taking a closer look at James, she added, "And I can see why."

James ignored the twenty-something year old witch's advances. He wouldn't go to a pet shop to pick up women.

The kitten mewled pitifully and James couldn't resist. Taking the kitten out of the cage he thought about whether or not to get her. After all, he didn't have an owl, Albion didn't count since he was the family owl, and he was allowed one pet at Hogwarts. James normally disliked pets, and hadn't bothered with one his first year. They were too much maintenance for his eleven-year old self, but he wondered if he had really outgrown that part of his character. The kitten settled in his hands as he stroked her gently. She was in kitty bliss and that decided James. There was no way he could leave her in the cage. "I'll take her. How much do I owe you?"

"5 galleons should cover everything, including a cage, a supply of food and pet registration." The auburn headed woman summoned a registration form and readied her quill. "Now all I need is for you to fill out this section and the cat's name."

James frowned, "Hm . . . a name for her." He looked at the small kitten purring happily in his hands trying to figure out a name. The orange cat opened its big doe eyes and stared into James and he knew the name he would choose. The kitten blinked before yawning and falling asleep. The black-haired wizard smiled, scratching her ears.

* * *

"Demmez?!" exclaimed Sirius, clearing surprised and unhappy. "What kind of name for a cat is Demmez?!" He huffed and crossed his arms.

"Not 'd-**mez**,' Sirius. It's pronounced '**day**-mez.'" James just watched the kitten as it napped near the window, trying its best to tune out the loud boys in the carriage. Meanwhile its owner was trying to staunch the headache that was coming from Sirius's arguing. "It means 'doe' in the old British tongue."

"Ok, when I said you went to the pet shop to look for a mate I was just kidding. Besides, you named your **cat** 'doe?' Does that make any sense to you?" Sirius argued. He had wanted the name 'hunter,' or 'killer,' or something that would intimidate others just by the sound. What kind of name was Demmez anyways? That would not strike fear into the hearts of the enemies, just confusion.

"Look, it just made sense at the time. Look at her eyes and maybe you'll understand. It really doesn't matter if you're unhappy with the name or not because it's final. I'm not changing it and that's that." James folded his arms and gave Sirius a challenging look. Sirius just shook his head, finally giving up upon seeing the resolved face James had. Remus and Peter said nothing as they just watched, amused, at the entire argument. They didn't think a cat's name was that important anyways.

* * *

The seventh-year Gryffindor wandered the halls toward the kitchen Sirius had brought her to before. Her hunger got the better of her as she tried to study in her room. By the gods it was hard not to think of her parents every single minute of the day. Even the slightest thing would remind her of them, like the Owl Post at breakfast, where her mom would occasionally send her sweets or a loving note. Her eyes prickled with tears every time the owls flew down to deliver mail, and she knew she would not be receiving anything from her parents' owl.

Her expensive dragonhide boots clacked on the floor and echoed through the empty corridor. Well, at least she thought it was empty.

A silky voice cut through the stillness of the air. "What's a pretty girl like you doing at Hogwarts on a Hogsmeade weekend?" The owner of the voice stepped out of the shadows, and casually leaned against the hallway, cutting her off from reaching the kitchen's secret entrance.

"What's it to you?" she snapped, upset that a stranger was stopping her from getting a few snacks. She tried to move around him, but he stopped her with a fast arm.

His eyes seemed to rake over her slender figure that her robes only accentuated. "My apologies lovely, for intruding. But I was wondering if such a beautiful creature as yourself would like to accompany me to the kitchens – that is, assuming that's where you were headed." His kept his voice soft, but the danger of this dark handsome stranger could not be hidden.

Persephone frowned as his flattery coaxed her to accept his invitation. She studied him, taking in every detail of his outfit. He was a Slytherin – the green and silver tie gave it away, but he looked very familiar somehow. She was sure she didn't know any other Slytherins, especially ones that wanted to associate with a Gryffindor. His mere presence sent chills down her spine as he loomed over her. His dark eyes scared her, as if he could see every intention and thought she had.

"I promise I don't bite," his smooth voice assured her, as he smirked at her discomfort.

Maybe it was the promise of danger lurking in his demeanor, underlying the depths of his voice, or perhaps it was his cool and composed nature, but whatever it was, Persephone was tired of being the good little girl everyone expected of her. She offered a hand for him to shake. "Persephone Olwen," she said at last, her voice weary.

Instead of shaking her hand, the Slytherin slowly brought it to her lips, his eyes never leaving hers and kissed it. "Regulus. It's a pleasure to meet you."


	7. Past Revealed

**Author's Note:** You MUST reread the entire story for this chapter to make any sense. Everything is completely rewritten as I have taken a lot of the suggestions to heart. Sorry for the long wait, but genetics is currently kicking my butt. :P

* * *

**_Chapter 7_**

**_By: Almicene Melwen_**

**_Updated: August 30, 2004_**

* * *

It was a dreary afternoon, with rain falling softly and steadily from the sky. It had rained for the past few hours and many of the students were relaxing from a hard day of classes. Persephone was lying comfortably on a soft rug. A figure was seated on a couch near her, studying her with calculating eyes. He was determined to prove to his family that he was by far the better son than his traitor of a brother. And who better to serve as the example than the pureblooded witch Sirius was infatuated with. A devious smile crossed his face as he spoke half truths mixed with lies into her ear as he slid down from the couch to place himself next to her. She barely looked up at him, but he knew that his words would resonate in her mind.

Lily was in the Heads' common room, reading quietly by the fire, and feeling better than she had in days. The guilt in her heart still remained but slowly she had begun to forgive herself and Persephone. Of course there was always James and his friends to make her feel better. Her eyes glanced up from the textbook and she wondered how the Gryffindor Quidditch team was faring.

* * *

"Come on guys! It's just a little bit of water," James encouraged his team, motioning them to continue with their drill.

The players groaned. One of his best chasers, Julia, spoke up. "Please James. We've been out here for at least an hour and a half. We're soaked, cold, filthy, and starving. Please, for Merlin's sake-"

Sirius, the Gryffindor beater interrupted, "Try for Lily's sake Julia . . . might have a better effect on him," he said, with a twinkle in his eye.

Heat colored James's cheeks, which was only more apparent in the cold weather. The team laughed good-naturedly while he shot Sirius a dirty look.

James grumbled, still embarrassed that they had mentioned his redheaded weakness. The rain began to pour harder as if it also encouraged James to stop practice a little earlier than usual. He had been working the team hard because he knew the match against Ravenclaw would be a tough one. They had the perfect strategy against Hufflepuff in the last game. The captain had come up with excellent plays, countering everything that Hufflepuff threw at them.

"Okay, but I had **better **see some excellent performance on Saturday. Ravenclaw will not go easy on us just because I go easy on you guys," James relented.

The team gave a whoop, flying as fast as they could towards the ground and closer to a nice warm shower and meal awaited them.

As they raced away James chuckled, not noticing the click of a picture being taken, or the smug voice accompanying it.

"Gotcha."

* * *

James entered his room, not seeing Demmez any where. She appeared at her own whim and was very independent for the most part. However she was very dependent on him for lovely back scratches. Just as he was thinking of the cat he heard a soft scratch at the window. James had forgotten to leave it open for her to come back in.

Rushing to the window, he wondered what state he'd find her in. The rain was falling so heavily that just a few seconds in the weather would chill one to the bone. Unlocking the clasp he opened the window a tad for her to come in. Demmez barely managed to climb over the giant window sill. She gave a pitiful meow as James scooped her up.

She was so cold! Quickly he grabbed one of his towels, wrapping it around his bedraggled feline. Wiping some of the water off, he raised her to his eye level.

She blinked at him.

"Did we learn something today Demmez?" James said hiding the concern in his voice with a half smile.

"Meow." The cat shivered and sneezed.

"Okay, okay. I'll let you get away with it for today. But no more thunderstorms for you! Or else!"

He began to say something else but the little cat was already fast asleep. James chuckled, glad that she was at least warm and safe now. He stripped out of his clothes, heading to the shower he needed badly. Demmez wasn't the only one that was soaked from the weather.

A little while later after cleaning himself up, he wrote a quick note to his parents, updating them on his progress at school. Checking his watch, he realized he had plenty of time to stop by the owlery to send the letter before dinner was over. Making his way up the stairs to the door of the owlery, he stopped when he heard a soft, familiar voice.

"Take this to them? Come on Dermott, I'll give you a nice treat when you get back," the voice entreated.

James opened the door softly, and saw Lily trying to coax a red-tailed hawk to take a note. He would have made his presence known immediately, but there was something in her voice that gave him pause.

"Please?" she pleaded. The hawk nuzzled her cheek with the top of its head, comforting her. He could not deliver the letter to the recipients she asked him to, no matter how much she wanted or begged. A tear slipped down her cheek, as she willed herself to stand up, and go down to dinner. As she straightened up she saw a movement out of the corner of her eye, as did her hawk.

Dermott squawked loudly at the intruder, flying off Lily's shoulder, ready to attack the boy if necessary. He flew to his perch when his mistress seemed only surprised and not scared.

She gasped, hastily wiping away the tear. Damn, James must have thought she was a complete baby. Every time he saw her she seemed to be crying. Lily stuffed the note into her robe, and brushed herself off. "Hi James," she said, pretending that he hadn't caught her private moment in the owlery. "What are you doing here?"

He eyed her almost wearily. She was hiding something from him again. "Well seeing it is the owlery, I came to send a post."

Lily cringed at her forgetfulness. Of course, what else would he be doing here? Snogging the owls? She headed towards the door, being careful to avoid brushing against James.

His voice stopped her. "I'll only take a minute if you want to wait for me." He called a school owl to deliver his note as Lily thought of the best way to escape. She didn't want to have to explain what she was doing. James would think she was a complete nutcase.

"Uh, it's alright. I don't need an escort. Thanks for the offer though." She flashed him a small smile before quickly leaving.

He frowned as one of the owls feel to his outstretched arm, nipping at his sleeve for the letter.

"Ouch! Geez, have some patience will you?" he chided the owl as his gaze returned from Lily. He **was **going to talk to her no matter what. She couldn't avoid him forever.

* * *

"I must say how grateful I am to you Sirius for making the Lily comment to the team," James said sarcastically as he slid in next to his mates.

Sirius grinned. "Any time." He was about to bite down into the buttered roll when he spotted Persephone sitting purposefully by herself. He lifted his plate of food, giving his friends a sheepish smile. "Hope you'll forgive me."

They nodded in understanding, going about their usual conversations as Sirius sat next to Persephone.

"So, why have you been avoiding me love?" Sirius teased. "Did you like the other cologne better?"

Persephone looked up at him, giving a silky smile. She spoke softly, but it didn't hold any gentleness. "Oh don't worry about it Sirius darling. I just took time to realize how important true friendships are and what blood is really worth nowadays."

The tone in her voice made Sirius frown with unpleasant memories surfacing. She wasn't saying what he thought she was . . . was she? "What are you saying?" Sitting next to her, and his back turned to the Slytherin table, Sirius didn't see Regulus smirking, enjoying every moment of the interaction.

She waved her hand in a gesture of nonchalance. "Oh don't mind me. I don't know what I'm talking about." She gave him that smile that chilled him more than her voice. It wasn't as if she was saying anything particularly unpleasant or demeaning, but the _way _she was saying things was making him uncomfortable.

"What's wrong-" he began to ask, but stopped as he felt her foot caress his calf softly. She gave him a seductive smile, almost purring at his discomfort. His eyes widened at this girl he thought he knew. What happened to the girl that was supposedly repulsed by his love notes, his advances? He gulped, not used to being the one seduced. "What happened to you?" he said, his voice cracked from nervousness and uncertainty.

She placed her hand on his thigh and leaned over towards him. Kissing his ear she whispered, "Maybe I should be the one asking you what's wrong? I don't think I've ever seen you so uncomfortable." Her hand went higher up his leg and Sirius was plainly shocked. He quickly put his hand on top of hers to prevent it from going further.

Persephone laughed coldly. "You should think about whom your true friends are Sirius. Purebloods can offer you so much more than the . . . others." She turned his head as she got up, and placed a quick kiss on his slack lips. "Catch you later love," she mocked.

Sirius sat there shocked, barely aware of the rest of the night, even as his friends led him to their room. They had seen the behavior change in Persephone earlier but wanted Sirius to see it for himself in case he wouldn't believe them.

* * *

Lily left the Great Hall quickly, trying to get away from James before he could confront her. She scanned around the corner that was the last hallway before her room, and didn't see any sign of him. She breathed a sigh of relief too soon.

She seemed the cologne so particular to him and whirled around, only to have him clamp his hands down on her shoulder. His eyes glittered with amusement. "Looking for me?"

Lily sighed. "Let me guess. You want me to explain the owlery incident." She frowned, turning her eyes away from him. How the hell did he manage to find her despite the roundabout ways she had taken to get away from the Great Hall?

"Let's take a walk outside Lily," he said, purposefully not answering her question. He hugged her to him and released her. He didn't want to let her know his growing feelings too soon. He didn't even how she felt about him. After all, she had been avoiding him lately. Perhaps he was overwhelming her by trying too hard to see her all the time.

The two headed out of the castle and towards the lake. The light from the stars shone bright, the clouds having disappeared after the afternoon storm had faded. The grass was damp and the night air chilly but overall beautiful.

Lily took a deep breath of fresh air. She loved the air after it had rained. "I was trying to send a letter."

James smirked. "I gathered that."

She shot him a half-hearted glare, then looked away again. "This year hasn't been the best for me. I mean with the Death Eater attacks, Persephone . . ." she began to ramble.

James realized she was stalling and gave her a look. "Are you going to tell me or not?"

She stopped rambling and frowned. "Did anyone ever tell you that you were blunt?"

"All the time. Now point please," he demanded, with a serious expression on his face, but his lips curled into a smile.

"I . . . I was trying to send a letter to my parents." She avoided his gaze, knowing that he didn't know. She hadn't told anyone. Not even Persephone. Although thinking about it, perhaps her old friend wouldn't have been so unforgiving had she known.

"Then why wasn't the owl . . . er hawk-"

Lily decided to use James's tactic of being blunt. It was probably easier that way. "It's hard to send letters to dead people."

He hazel eyes widened in surprise and then pity.

"Don't look at me that way. There are orphans around the world that have it worse than I do. At least I knew my parents for a majority of my life." No tears slid down her face. She had cried most of her tears during the end of the summer when her parents had been killed.

"Oh Lily . . ." he said, wanting to hold her, protect her from the viciousness of the world, but feeling helpless to do so.

She turned those big green eyes at him, giving him a sad smile. Lifting herself on her toes she did something she normally would not have, but she felt more daring as her fear was hidden behind her sadness. James would be confused with her next action for a while.

James was completely taken by surprise as Lily closed her eyes and kissed his lips softly for just a second, imaging that he liked her as much as she had grown to like him.

"Thanks for being a friend James," she said with sad emerald eyes, before heading back into the castle.


	8. Choices

**Author's Note:** In order to get this out earlier, I decided to end this chapter sooner than intended. This is my birthday present to you guys. Lol, I expect some happy birthday wishes :P

* * *

**_Chapter 8_**

**_By: Almicene Melwen_**

**_Updated: September 16, 2004_**

* * *

James didn't sleep well the entire night. He'd spent a few hours looking for Lily (Sirius had borrowed the map and couldn't be found) but he hadn't been able to find her, unless she really was in the Head Girl's room and ignoring the knocks (which was entirely possible). He tried not to let his annoyance show at not getting what he wanted. But Lily didn't know he was a persistent little bugger, and he was going to find her and make her explain what she had meant by that kiss even if he had to spend all day looking for her.

As he headed out of his room for breakfast, he immediately halted at the horde of girls in front of his room. It was France all over again.

"James!" several girls shouted excitedly while several others were pawing him. It was all he could do to keep them from nicking his tie and other articles of clothing. He jumped when he felt an all too friendly hand on his bum. He frowned. He was not a piece of meat!

One particularly bold girl latched onto his arm as he desperately tried to pry it off. "James, how about you, me for dinner after the game on Saturday." She batted her eyelashes at him.

James grimaced. This was **not **how he planned to spend the morning. Quickly scanning over the crowd of girls, he frowned when he didn't see a single redhead.

"How about no," he said casually brushing her off.

Giving the girls a tight lipped smile, he escaped by bolting towards one of the passageways they didn't know about. His heart pounded in his chest, as his book bag bounced against his leg. Thank Merlin for the many passageways in Hogwarts. After finding the secret corridor, James groaned, sliding to the floor, allowing himself to think. How the hell how they found out about him? He had been so careful . . .

A sudden scuffle of shoes caught his attention and James whipped his wand to the right from instinct. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his friends, tucking away his wand. "Thank the gods its only you three. If there were any more girls . . . " he trailed off.

"Yeah, sorry we didn't come sooner mate. We were going to warn you but there was a waiting list to see you outside your room," Sirius snorted. "Not that I mind girls of course, but it's a tad annoying when all they can say is your best friend's name instead of yours."

"How the hell did they find out? I've been here for years and they never knew before. I mean even when the Daily Prophet took a couple of pictures of the Quidditch teams it wasn't a big deal," he said, frowning, wondering how his perfect plan had been so effectively ruined.

Remus brought up another point, instead of answering James's question. "So when did you and Lily become snogging partners?" he said slyly.

"Yeah, without telling your best buds," said Sirius, his humor not quite covering his fatigue. There were very faint circles under his eyes as if he had been worrying most of the night. James made a note to ask him about it later.

It looked like James wasn't the only one with problems at the moment.

"What?!" James practically yelled, leaping to his feet. "I didn't – we aren't," he said, flabbergasted. "She just thanked me for being a friend last night."

Remus sighed. "Yeah, well that's what not everyone else thinks." Tossing James a copy of Witch Weekly, Remus gave him a half smile. The full moon was in a few days and he couldn't afford James to be so widely publicized . . . and monitored. The werewolf berated himself for thinking such thoughts instead of thinking about his friend. "Page 23," he said absentmindedly, examining his fingernails, bored.

James's shock was apparent as he glanced at a picture of himself in his Quidditch uniform from a game last year to the story on him. They had made him the center piece of this week's article.

**Britain's Most Eligible Bachelor**

By Monica Palo

Contributed by: Matthian Wilkes & Pierre Coigne

_Witch Weekly is proud to give witches the breaking story on James Potter, who until now was one of the greatest mysteries in France. What does he have to do with Britain you ask? The gorgeous eighteen-year old was recently discovered to go to Hogwarts School of Magic. That's right girls! This famous French celebrity is in your own backyard. Apparently this is where he has been receiving his education for the past years, despite the belief of the French reporters that he was home-schooled._

_The Potter family is one of the wealthiest families in France, but they are originally from Britain. The Potters are also Purebloods traced back to the time of the founding wizards and witches of Britain. It is rumored they are possibly related to Godric Gryffindor. _

_No one has been able to get any pictures of the wealthy Potter until now. Witch Weekly has exclusive pictures on Hogwart's Head Boy including his personal life. Not only is James Head Boy, but Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Considered one of the best chasers Hogwarts has ever seen, James has the potential to be one of the best Quidditch players. He may also take over the family business._

_Is there any girl that James fancies? Our sources say there is one girl that James spends a lot of time with (see additional pictures on page 25). Her name is Lily Evans, Hogwarts very own Head Girl. But don't give up hope yet witches. James seems to regard her only as a friend. When she tried to make her feelings apparent by giving him a kiss, James sent her away crying. Lily is not of Pureblood descent and an orphan as her parents were killed last summer by You-Know-Who. Could she be one of the many witches merely after the Potter fortune? Perhaps, but it doesn't matter as their conversation ended with Lily in tears and James stunned._

The article continued on but James dropped it in disbelief and anger. He wanted to smash something for the way that had portrayed Lily as a gold-digger. And he was also certain that she hadn't wanted the attention she would be getting now. His fist curled into a ball as his angry hazel eyes met his friends. "Gods . . . why did they have to bring her into this? This is a bunch of crap and I'm bloody tired of all the reporters trying to ruin my life."

Remus put a hand on James shoulder. "Come on James. Explain things to her later. Let's go to the kitchens for breakfast for now," he said sensibly.

None of the others could say anything in consolation for fear they would be lying to their friend. They all knew how much he hated his life in France, and the happiness he found in his anonymity at Hogwarts. He only had to worry about class, the upcoming game instead of worrying about the girls trying to get a hold of his family's fortune, or people trying to take advantage of him or even Voldemort supporters wanting to be the one to put the rumored Gryffindor heir out of commission.

Gods . . . it was only the beginning of the school year. How was he going to survive now that every reporter in France and Britain would know where he was? James had wanted to talk to Lily, but now he was certain she would avoid him. She would probably think he was the one that had told the reporters about her parents. And the bull they had made up about why she had left crying? Merlin, his life was going to be Hell.

Sirius picked up the magazine James had dropped. "Oh, can you sign this when you get a chance? That was Amelia's condition for letting me borrow the magazine." He chuckled nervously, knowing that the clenched teeth and balled up fists were just small signs of James's anger. James looked particularly dangerous at the moment. He hoped that he wasn't going to be the one James took his anger out on. Speaking of which, where was that kitten James was so fond of? Maybe that cat was good for something after all.

James glared at Sirius.

"What was I supposed to do? I don't have one of these magazines just lying around," he defended. He knew James wasn't angry at him, just annoyed at the situation he couldn't control. "But if you had asked me for a Wizard Weekly . . . ." He grinned, giving James a sneaky smile.

James shook his head, his anger fading. "That belongs in the list of things I don't want to know about you Padfoot."

Remus and Peter laughed, only hoping that their friendship would remain strong despite the upcoming problems they knew they would face.

* * *

Lily was about to scream from all the looks of pity, the whispers behind her back as she passed through the hall. But she knew it would only give Voldemort supporters more satisfaction if she broke down, showed any sort of effect the article had on her. The pictures were so embarrassing; she hadn't planned on having her first kiss publicized for everyone to see. Thank the gods the reporters hadn't know that small fact and James for that matter.

She was so angry at James though. He had so many opportunities to tell her, but he hadn't. She had shared some of her most painful feelings with him and he hadn't even cared to inform her that he was France's hottest topic of conversation.

Lily was also angry with herself. If only she had told James how she had felt **before **that damned article had come out then she might have had a chance. Now he would only think that she liked him for his money. Why did they have to ruin the special friendship she had with James? Why?!

She had been so caught up in her thoughts that she almost ran into the figure standing next to a window, watching something outside. Lily lifted her eyes to see who she had almost crashed into at the same time the figure turned around.

"Severus?" Lily asked questioningly as the glare from the sunlight prevented her from clearly seeing him.

"So it would seem," he answered in a bored voice. He turned towards the window again, intending to completely ignore the girl beside him. She was one of the reasons for his inner turmoil, problems he didn't wish to think about at the moment.

She tilted her head at his curious behavior. "Not even a hello from the Slytherin Prefect? Don't I deserve that at least?" she said, her voice laced with hidden meaning. She knew something about him that should have made her run far away from him. But the knowledge of that secret alone wasn't enough for her to quake with fear. She also knew Severus and his dilemma with duty, honor, and respect. Those were the things that defined the tall boy in front of her. Those were the things that caused the conflict she often caught in his eyes when he looked at her.

"Don't delude yourself with wishful thinking," he drawled in a superior tone, wondering why his cold demeanor hadn't caused her to leave yet. Hell he intimidated most Slytherins, yet this girl seemed to be unafraid.

"I wouldn't call a more than deserved apology wishful thinking," she answered quietly, moving to watch the sunlight next to him. His eyes darted over to her suspiciously.

"What are you on about?" he demanded, wanting her to look at him now. All he needed was just a quick glance to know what she was talking about. He had begun to practice the art of Legilimency, enabling him to see the memories and emotions of others through their eyes.

Lily turned to meet his eyes, full of fear, anger and shame. She knew the possibility he was a Legilimens (she had heard the rumors) but she would not hide the fact she knew the truth. He would know it either way. "Did you know that the pain of the Cruciatus curse lasts more than just the time its cast? That it lingers in your blood for a few days, hitting a nerve every once in a while, making you wonder if you've burned yourself somehow, or someone has just punched you in the stomach?"

"Why are you telling me this? Can't you see that I want some peace?" Severus hissed, wanting her to leave him alone. He wasn't ready to face those demons yet. He was still trying to account for others and her eyes hid none of the truth from him. He should have sent her away as soon as she arrived. He didn't want the blame or guilt. He was so sick of hating himself and here was little Lily Evans reminding him of the things he couldn't change, of the regret he would always have for the choices he didn't have.

She half-smiled, but with no joy in her face. "When did I ever ask for war? I know you were there Severus. I know it was you who cast that curse," she said quietly, remembering how his cowl hadn't hidden the distinctive features of his face. She put her arms on the window sill, watching the dying rays of sunlight caress the grounds and the students playing outside after classes. She loved to watch the brilliant orange and scarlet colored leaves hang on to the last bit of light, reflecting a tiny bit of gold in their shade. It was so soothing to partake in such a simple pleasure as this especially when everything else was going askew.

She continued as the Slytherin besides her tried to figure out exactly what she wanted, or how to get out of this situation. It was a mistake from the beginning he knew, but he had gone along with it anyway – to prove he was physically loyal to his family, to the Blood. But it was then he knew he would never be emotionally loyal to Voldemort's cause or to the ideas that so defined the culture and society he lived in. There was no escape.

"I'm not mad at you Severus. I won't even ask you why you did it. Because I know the reasons you had and what your obligations are. I don't have to lift up your sleeve to see the Dark Mark, because I know it is there." Lily wrung her hands together, trying to explain what she wanted Severus so desperately to see, to understand. His way was not the only way to be loyal. He didn't have to hate himself for something he had little control of.

"Then what do you want? I refuse to be blackmailed or-" he began, so used to the ways of his pureblooded, unforgiving society. He had forgotten that not everyone lived by the same codes he was forced to.

Lily shook her head. "No. I didn't come here to ask any favors or apologies." She faced him again as the sun sunk behind the mountains. "I came here to remind you that the mark on your arm is only a physical one. There are many forms of loyalties from the physical to the heart. Where do your loyalties lie Severus?" She gave him a ghost of a smile before walking away from him. He would have to figure the rest out on his own. Lily only hoped that he realized it wasn't too late to save himself from the dark abyss he was headed for.

* * *

Sirius was scrupulously looking at the little dot labeled Persephone on the map. It took him a few seconds to fully understand the tiny little speck next to hers named Regulus Black. Now everything made sense to him about her recent behavior that was so unlike her. She was still grieving and his bastard of a brother had taken advantage of her weakened state. He was poisoning her mind and Sirius was going to make sure he paid dearly.

Growling, Sirius marched down the hall towards the two dots headed his way. He was going to make sure his meddling little brother never bothered his friends again. And he became all the more enraged as Regulus eyed Persephone with more than a casual glance as she walked slightly ahead of him.

The two stopped once they saw Sirius, who was barely controlling his anger.

"Are you lost Gryffindor?" Regulus said mockingly. "Your common room is the other way. Now if you'll excuse us . . . " The cocky little bastard put his arm around Persephone, who followed Regulus's lead wordlessly. Her eyes were blank, as if there was no soul behind them. He began to move past Sirius when Sirius shoved him away from the blonde witch, regaining his senses.

"You are going to stay the hell away from her and the rest of my friends from now you worthless piece of shit," Sirius snarled, his eyes flashing with unbridled rage.

Persephone spoke up from behind Sirius, her eyes taking on a look he had seen too many times in the mirror. "If you wanted me so badly you could have just said so," she said, placing her arms around Sirius's waist.

He pushed her behind him, gently. "You and I are going to have a talk later. But right now . . . " He turned towards his brother, his steps mimicking those of a predator about to leap on their prey. Regulus was surprised and afraid of his older brother, suddenly realizing that Sirius was not someone to cross. Maybe he wasn't the coward he always assumed Sirius to be.

Regulus pulled out his wand threateningly, hiding his fear. "You want a duel big brother? The odds are a little unfair, but I'm sure you'll manage."

Persephone's eyes widened. They were brothers?

Sirius smiled cruelly at him, not even bothering to pull at his wand. "You duel? Now that's a laugh. I highly doubt you'd fight fairly."

"Who said anything about a fair duel? You know just as many Dark Art spells as I do. Now get out your wand. I want to see who's the better Black."

"If you insist Regulus. But there was never any doubt to begin with. _Petrificus__ Totalus_!" Sirius shouted as he quickly whipped out his wand and faster than his brother could react.

Sirius snorted at the frozen statue of his brother. Did he honestly think he would have wasted his talent dueling the little pipsqueak? Oh no, he had better plans in store for his brother. He had other people to deal with at the moment though.

Turning to Persephone his expression became neutral, but she was still nervous nonetheless. What was he going to do? She had never felt a reason to be scared of him before, but the way he had turned on his so called brother scared her. She had never seen that side of him.

Backing a few steps away from him, she made to slip away but his predatory gaze held her there, as if to say, 'oh no you don't.'

"Let's go," Sirius growled, grabbing her hand and dragging her behind him. She needed to get some sense into her and he was going to make her understand exactly what she was getting into.

* * *


	9. Sacrifices

**Author's Note:** Ok, shorter chapter than most but it is the second posting for today. The plot will develop further in later chapters, but not this one.

* * *

**_Chapter 9_**

**_By: Almicene Melwen_**

**_Updated: September 23, 2004_**

* * *

Damn, she was coy and scarce when she wanted to be. Lily had managed to avoid him for days now despite the meetings that had as Heads, or the classes they shared. Every time James tried to approach her after class one of her friends would appear and whisk her away, apologizing for needing her at that particular moment.

His life had been pretty miserable with the dramatic increase of reporters and much to his chagrin, women at the Quidditch games. He was considering resigning for the good of the team. It was difficult to practice with girls squealing in the stands all trying to get his attention. And as if the girls weren't enough, he had become enemy number one for the guys for 'stealing' all the attention. As if it was his fault! Scowling, he furiously scanned the Marauder's Map again.

Aha! At least one thing was looking up, he spotted the dot of Lily Evans in the Head Common room. Grinning he hurried to his destination, making sure to take less used hallways and passageways, occasionally looking at the map to see if any girls were nearby. Last thing he wanted was to be intercepted so close to his goal.

Reaching the room safely, James breathed a sigh of relief. Looking up at the magnificent portrait of Julius Caesar he straightened his posture automatically. The Roman general drew respect even in his framed image.

"Hail Caesar," James said, reciting the unoriginal password. The extravagantly dressed Roman nodded his head, crowned with a wreath of olive leaves, watching James carefully. Julius held a particularly sharp looking blade in his hand, carved with intricate symbols in the hilt. Latin words were inscribed delicately into the metal itself reading "Ultima Ratio," meaning "Ultimate Sanction." The words seemed fitting to Caesar as his weapon was one of the few things that had not betrayed him in his life.

The portrait swung forward, letting James inside, and quickly swung back to prevent anyone else from going in. He saw her scribbling furiously on what looked like parchment, deep in thought. His heart began to beat faster against his will and his throat dried up. How odd, he thought, why could he face hundreds of people without batting an eye, and just thinking of what to say to the girl in front of him had him in knots.

She spoke before he even took another step forward. "I was wondering when you'd come. Took you long enough." She continued writing, not looking up.

How did she do that?! "How'd you know I was coming here?" James asked, glad that at least his motor skills were working.

She laughed. "I figured you might want to catch me now since you haven't been able to track me all week."

His eyes widened in surprise. Lily turned around, delighting in the delicious surprised look James had. She wouldn't be the one caught off-guard this time. She continued, deciding to alleviate the fear on his face, or make it worse. She grinned. "Did you think I got the Head Girl position accidentally? I know you have some sort of tracking device on everyone. That's the only explanation of how you used to be able to find me whenever you wanted, no matter how I altered my schedule or where I hid around the castle. It would also explain why you and your friends never got caught after the second year."

James' jaw dropped a couple of inches as the redhead got up and sauntered straight up to him. She placed a finger under his jaw, pushing it back up to close his mouth, ignoring her desire to place a kiss on his slack lips. Lily rolled her eyes. "Please, you're not the only clever one around here."

James gave her his grudging respect, but remembered why he'd hunted her down in the first place (or as she had put it, let him find her). He opened his mouth to speak but she stopped him by poking a finger at his chest, pushing him back towards the door.

"Oh no you don't, you big, fat jerk," she hissed, narrowing her eyes, which were turning darker shades of green at the moment. If James wasn't in so much trouble he would have loved to just study the different colors her eyes changed to. He gulped, his courage and confidence lost because of the girl in front of him. "You **are **going to let me yell at you at the very least for what I've gone through this week. Do you know how many girls have come up and told me they felt sorry for me?"

James shook his head wordlessly. It was one of those times that his Dad has advised him to not say anything and just let the girl rant. He didn't want to make her any madder than she was already.

"I wouldn't be surprised if it was half of girls at Hogwarts! And the other half wanted to know what your lips felt like! The nerve! And why the hell didn't you tell me about how much money you had or that you were such a public figure?!" Lily said, poking him in the chest with each exclamation, throwing her hand back after each push. And James was getting this strange desire to just grab her and kiss her with each passing second. But he didn't know how well she'd take that considering one little peck had caused her this much harassment.

"It's all your fault you stupid moron," Lily said, glaring at James, who was at this time backed against the wall. He was sure he'd have bruises on his chest tomorrow.

He tried defending himself. "How's it MY fault?!" he protested. "You're the one that kissed me!" James got the sense that Lily wasn't entirely mad at him as she looked at him calculatingly, as if trying to decide what he was thinking and feeling.

Lily gasped. How dare he insinuate it was her fault, any thoughts of grabbing him and kissing him quickly faded! "It was your fault you dummy!" Her voice grew louder, as her senses were becoming pleasantly overwhelemed with James – the way he smelled, and how comfortable his chest was looking at this particular moment.

"It's not my fault! Why the bloody hell did you kiss me anyways?!" he pressed, wanting to know the answer to the question that had plagued him ever since.

"It is your fault!" Lily insisted, the next part slipping out, much to her horror. "You had to look so damn kissable!" She stopped advancing on him, covering her mouth with her hand. James, looked shocked as well, but recovered quickly.

She blushed madly as James' lip twitched upwards and he smirked. "I didn't mean-" Lily began to stutter out an excuse, desperate to cover up her mistake.

But by the way he was smirking it didn't look like it was going to be possible.

"Yes you did," he said arrogantly, his hazel eyes shining brightly. This day was definitely looking up. He reached for Lily, quickly pulling her to him, enjoying the feel of her in his arms. Leaning down, he made to kiss her but she pushed him back.

"No," she said softly. "You can't play with my feelings James." Her common sense kicked in and Lily wiggled out his grasp, slightly annoyed with his arrogance. "You should have told me everything that I had to find out from a bloody article."

She shoved a copy of Supra at him, swiftly evading him, and left the room without another word. James groaned, and unfolded the copy of the magazine. He thought Lily had been writing, but she had circled the parts about him in the article.

He sighed, seeing just a few sentences. "_A few of the witches James Potter has been seen with are all from highly established pureblood families . . .and with rumored ties to Godric Gryffindor, no wonder the handsome wizard will most likely settle with a pureblood witch."_

Slumping against the cold stone wall of the Head Common room, James pulled his knees to his chest, staring at his expensive new dress shoes. The small gold buckles at the edges of the black pair shined at him. What was it all for anyways? So what if he had money? Or was a Pureblood? He'd give it up in a heartbeat for just a normal life - one where he was free to pursue Lily and not to live up to someone else's expectations or being under constant scrutiny. One thing he thanked Witches Weekly for was the way they portrayed him as rejecting Lily. That would keep any Voldemort supporters away from hurting her or her family. The humiliation was enough. If they ever thought he was mixing his bloodline, threatening the Old magic, they would eliminate her.

He had experience enough to know, as he watched Sirius go through the pain of losing his first girlfriend for being a muggle-born witch. No wonder he despised his family so much. Despite being deep in thought, James heard a slight shuffle. Immediately leaping to his feet, he reached for his wand.

A fuzzy body rubbed around his ankles and James nearly jumped. Looking down he saw his fickle little kitten, Demmez. Sighing in relief. "Nearly gave me a heart attack darling."

He got an apologetic look in response. "Meoooow."

James slid back to his spot, scooping up the kitten in his arms, wondering how Demmez had known exactly when to show up. Scratching her ears and back absently he smiled at her. "You're such a beauty," he said. Demmez purred in response, jumping onto his shoulder and nuzzling his neck, showering as much affection on him as possible.

Pretending she could understand him, James spoke. "Why can't they leave me alone? Why can't they just leave Lily out of this?" he asked Demmez, as he ruffled his hair. The kitten swiped at his hand with her paw, claws retracted.

"Hey, what was that for?" James demanded, annoyed that the cat was preventing his method of calming himself. Demmez jumped back onto his lap instead, nudging his hand with her head. Oh, James thought, understanding. He chucked. "You're a spoiled little thing, always wanting me to pet you." He frowned again. "I was _this_ close," James indicated a small space in between his thumb and forefinger, "to kissing her. And I mean really kissing her. Now I know she likes me at least. One less problem and ten more to go with it." The kitten looked up at him, cocking its head to the side.

"Meow?"

James continued. "I despise being Pureblooded sometimes, and having so much money. It's caused so many problems including to the muggle-borns I get close to. I don't want to put Lily in any danger. I couldn't forgive myself if something happened to her." Some sacrifices were necessary and he had a choice in that – to be selfish and endanger Lily with a relationship or to let her go and away from the dangers that he would bring her. Life sucked.

Sensing his feelings Demmez settled into James' hands, nuzzling him with her small orange body.

"At least I have you eh?" James joked, sorely depressed.

The kitten purred in affirmation.


	10. Culmination

**Author's Note:** Mostly J/L interaction here. I'm not quite happy with this chapter, but it's going up since I haven't been contented with it for a couple of weeks now. Thanks for the support and reviews. And no, Madame-Knight, I had no idea it was called an interabang :P

* * *

**_Chapter 10_**

**_By: Almicene Melwen_**

**_Updated: October 31, 2004_**

* * *

His grip was almost painful on her wrist, but Persephone didn't dare complain at the moment. She had never been scared of Sirius Black before, but the dangerous look on his face when he had faced Regulus (were they really brothers?) dared anyone to try and cross him. She had been so caught up with Regulus that she had ignored everything around her, taking comfort in his words – how it hadn't been her fault.

It was Lily's. Not only was it Lily's fault, it was because of mudbloods that people like her parents had been killed. They should stay out of the wizarding world, and remain in the muggle one, where they belonged. They had no right to go to Hogwarts and bring the wrath of Voldemort upon Purebloods. That was what Regulus had told her, and she had taken the idea to heart. He had been so kind to her, and he had even defended her from a couple of mudbloods who attacked her in their hatred towards Purebloods. She was jerked out of her reverie when she nearly tripped over one of the stairs. Sirius steadied her, and gave her a hard look.

Sirius continued to drag her towards some unknown destination, not saying anything. He wouldn't do anything to her would he? But then again, she hadn't cared for a while what would happen to her. So why was her heart pounding wildly in her chest?

* * *

The way that James was growling would have made Sirius proud if he had heard it. He crushed the parchment he was holding, not realizing he would have to redo his essay if he continued. His current source of anger was at the girls who thought he was the womanizing type and thrown themselves at him, thinking all it would take was an exaggerated swagger of the hips or batting of the eyelashes to bag him. _"No bloody way,"_ he thought.

James stormed through the hallway, daring anyone to be out late enough after curfew. The first couple of nights after the blasted article in the magazine had come out, there were a large amount of points lost from many houses, as the girls decided that the Headboy's nighttime patrols were an excellent way to corner him. He smirked at the memory. He certainly had showed them. James knew he was a bit self-centered, arrogant, and had a filthy temper, but he was most definitely not a man whore. How the hell he had acquired the charmer reputation was beyond him. He thought the scowling, brush offs, glares would be enough to clear the misconception that all Hogwarts witches had of him (including Lily, he thought, irritably) but he had been wrong. If anything, they decided he just needed to be taught how to treat a woman.

Grimacing, James found a bench etched into the alcove of a hallway, and sat down with his back against one end and his legs bent to serve as a writing surface. Unrolling the parchment, James muttered a spell to get rid of the creases he had introduced. Reading over his scrawls, he didn't notice the figure watching from the shadows at the end of the hallway. She sighed softly, tucking a loose curl behind her ear as a nervous habit. A clip held her hair back, but Lily had left her hair with loose curls, too tired to straighten them. She knew she was supposed to patrol with James, but neither really minded when the other didn't accompany them. It was an unspoken understanding. She also knew which hallways he monitored more frequently than others, and his mutterings helped her to find him as well. Lily hadn't meant to follow him, as he had still yet to apologize or talk to her since a few days past. But as much as she hated it, she had missed him terribly. And the more time that passed by the less she remembered exactly why she was upset with him. He hadn't been in his room much lately, making it harder for her to see him.

So here she was, against her will (and good common sense she told herself), just watching him silently. Her black cloak hid her very well in the darkness of the castle. After a few minutes of watching James grumble and ruffle his hair in frustration of his essay, Lily tried to slip away, moving slowly.

The small movement James saw from the corner of his caused him to pull out his wand and point it at the darkly dressed figure. "Show yourself," he ordered. It better not be another bloody girl, he thought.

The figure hesitated and James growled. "Now!" he said dangerously.

She stepped forward, and James eyes' widened in surprise. "Lily?" A hundred thoughts rushed through his mind at the same time, but he found himself tongue-tied. He had spent a good while thinking of the best way to apologize to her, but hadn't thought of the perfect way to tell her he was sorry. Not to mention he was horribly confused about their last confrontation. Did she really like him, or was only physically attracted to him? And now, would she like him for who he really was or just his reputation? Doubts flooded his mind, but he quashed them for the moment, and said, without his usual tact. "What are you doing here?"

James could have kicked himself. She was Headgirl, and obviously she was patrolling.

She humored him by answering. ". . . Patrolling."

Lily was nervous, he could tell. And the pause in her answer made him think his question was not so moronic after all. After all, why was she skulking about in the hallway instead of marching down it? An idea popped into his mind and he grinned. Maybe physical attraction wasn't so bad after all. He joked, "Have you come here for another one of my amazing kisses?"

It was the wrong thing to say to Lily he realized after she glared at him and stalked off.

_"Go after her you idiot!" _he told himself. Scrambling off the bench, forgetting his homework, he caught up to Lily in a few easy strides of his longer legs.

She seemed determined to continue, so he stopped her by placing his arm against the wall, barring her path, just as he had on the first day of school. He used his other arm to hold her shoulder and turn her to face him.

He met her angry green eyes, but beyond that he saw hurt. James sighed, thinking how much of an idiot he was for causing her pain yet again. He wanted to find the perfect words to make it up to her, but in the end settled for a simple apology, hoping it would be enough. "I'm sorry," he murmured sincerely.

Lily gave him a half-smile, her eyes showing signs of her fatigue. Her angry expression turned into a friendlier one. "I know."

He frowned. "If you knew then why the bloody hell did you get mad and run off?"

She laughed. "You're . . . " she started to say, almost telling him how adorable he looked when brassed off, but caught herself. Her eyes sparkled with humor. "You're fun to riffle up."

Just looking into her eyes, James got the distinct impression that she wasn't one of the masses or just another girl. Lily had liked him before. She had put up with his filthy temper, his arrogance, and being a prat in general. Hoping, he wasn't crossing any lines, James reached towards her and pulled the clip holding her hair off.

Lily gasped, putting her hand on top of her hair and then reaching for the clip that James just stole. Loose curls spilled down, framing her face. She would have blushed at the admiration in James's eyes, but she wanted her clip back. It was one of her better hairclips that she had saved money for to buy in Hogsmeade. It was black with mother-of-pearl inlaid along the handle, a one-of-a-kind the shopkeeper had told her, not to mention very useful when she was too lazy to properly do her hair.

"James!" she protested as he hid it in his cloak, knowing full well Lily would have to grope him to find it. She put her hands on her hips, trying to make him give it back with a half-hearted glare. But when she met his eyes, she promptly forgot her clip. His eyes were dark with desire and she couldn't have turned away even if she wanted to.

"You're beautiful you know," he breathed softly, taking her face in one hand, stroking her cheek with his thumb. He was straying very close to the boundaries he had set for himself. He didn't want Lily to get hurt because of him and he knew getting close to her would make her a prime target. But he couldn't help himself. The tantalizing kiss she had given him had only fueled his desires. And the way she was looking at him now wasn't helping. James was certain she didn't realize the effect her full lips and the feel of her bare skin against his arm had on him.

Now Lily did blush. She tried to move out of his arms, but he closed the small space between them. "Hey, I'm still upset with you," she reminded him, but her voice came out softer than she liked as she sensed his intentions. "You're a prat, you hide things from me . . . " she trailed off as he caressed a loose curl.

Her statement didn't deter him, as he watched in amazement the darkening color of Lily's pretty green eyes. He licked his lips subconsciously and felt Lily shiver in his arms. "_Pull away, pull away now," _James kept telling himself, but his body wasn't listening. She was temptation incarnate.

James leaned forward, wanting nothing more than to feel the softness of her lips again, and a much more proper kiss than last time. His thoughts and trepidations were hazy now as he began to close the last few precious inches.

Lily's next statement stopped him cold.

"I'm not pureblooded James," she said softly, her voice full of sorrow and regret. Lily didn't want to get hurt because he thought she could use her as a short-term fling. She needed to stop things before they got too out of hand. However his reaction surprised her.

His eyes turned hard, and he shook her shoulders. "You shouldn't believe everything you read Lily," he reprimanded. "You of all people should know that." He narrowed his eyes. How could she think so little of him?

"How am I supposed to know anything about you when you won't even tell me?" she demanded, trying to make him see reason. He knew much more about her than she did about him. Lily didn't mention the rumors of his lovemaking skills being traded among the Gryffindor girls, or how much it hurt to find out the things she had told only him were common knowledge among the students. She stepped back from him, putting distance between them. It took all of her courage not to flinch from the anger in his gaze.

"I shouldn't have to tell you!" James growled, his temper getting the better of him. All the pent-up frustrations, stress, and anxiety over the past few days were coming out. "You don't have to know every secret about me to have just a little faith in me!"

Lily gave him a dirty look, her stance steeled against his anger. She looked every bit the Gryffindor at the moment. "Every secret James? How about things like your family? How many siblings do you have? What are your parents like? You never trusted me with _anything_, let alone secrets."

James grimaced, knowing everything she said was true. He hadn't told her much because he wasn't sure how she would react. He loved the freedom she offered in her ignorance of his background, of his wealth, and he hadn't wanted to lose it. But now he had to be more realistic as everyone's attention was focused on him and by association Lily if she were to become close to him. It was well time to let her go once and for all, before he became more attached to her, before she realized what he was doing.

"You're right," he said with a cruel, cold smile – one that he had perfected over time to keep people out of his life. "I never trusted you because I didn't feel you were important enough." He paused, giving her time to absorb the meaning of his words. "You didn't mean anything to me and never will."

Lily gasped, surprised and hurt at the sudden change in his demeanor. Tears formed in her eyes, but she stubbornly refused to let them fall. James turned away from her, filled with a deep sadness because he knew he had effectively severed any ties he had with her. It was for the best, he convinced himself.

The words had really stung, especially coming from James. Lily believed the malice in his tone at first, but as she had told him before, she wasn't Head Girl for nothing. "Oh no you don't," Lily said determinedly, moving around him and blocking him.

He scowled at her. "Get out of my way."

Lily stood her ground. "No," she said with her chin lifted in the air. She guessed at the reasons for his harsh words, and come to a conclusion. Now she would see if she was right.

Frowning, he pushed her aside with a strong grip on her arm. Lily used the opportunity to grab the Gryffindor tie dangling from his neck, pulling him down to her height. Lord, he was tall! She didn't give him time to react as she pressed her lips to his.

James, to his credit, tried to resist by opening his mouth no doubt to tell her off, but Lily deepened the kiss. She had never been so scared and excited at the same time. James didn't move for a couple of seconds, but suddenly pulled her tightly against him, taking over the kiss. His mouth dominated hers as he kissed her back hungrily.

For a few seconds Lily thought she had done something wrong as James had stood there unmoving. After all, she had very limited experience, but the way he reacted after his initial shock told her she was doing something right.

James tangled his fingers in her hair, his mouth moving over hers expertly. He could tell she was inexperienced by her shy responses, but he was definitely no closer to being in control because of it.

Lily stood on her toes to wrap her arms around his neck, pressing herself against him and it was all James could do not to ravish her right there. With a great effort, James pulled away, breathing heavily, his eyes never leaving the angel in front of him.

With cheeks flushed, and bright eyes, Lily said, "Now wasn't that the better way to tell me you liked me?"

James half-smiled. This wasn't going to make things any easier. He sighed, thinking of the problems they would both have to face now.

As if sensing his worry, Lily hugged him. "We'll talk about it tomorrow." James opened his mouth to protest, but Lily smiled mischievously. "Remember where that got you last time?"

He gave her a resigned smile, holding her in his arms, content to enjoy the small moment. "Tomorrow then," he conceded, placing a kiss on her soft auburn hair. James was surprised when Lily suddenly pulled away.

She gave him an impish smile, holding up her hairclip triumphantly, having successfully pick-pocketed him. "Finally!" Her eyes teased him. "Such awful sacrifice on my part to get it back though."

"Sacrifice?" James said mildly insulted. "Like hell!" he protested, drawing her back into his arms.

"Such sacrifice-" she began, but James cut her off with another one of his searing kisses.

Sacrifice indeed.


	11. Introspection

**Author's Note: **I have a feeling that this isn't quite what you wanted, but I felt this chapter was necessary. We'll see how quickly I can post the next one so I don't have an inbox full of hate mail :P And I care about all of you and I really do understand how annoying it is when updates take a while, but there have been many problems during my non-writing time. Thank you all for your reviews and your feedback. Without further ado . . .

* * *

**_Chapter 11: Introspection_**

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**_By Almicene Melwen_**

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**_Updated: February 5, 2005_**

* * *

Persephone found herself in the seventh year Gryffindor rooms, complete with random clothes and belongings tossed all over the place. Her fear turned into surprise as Sirius finally let go of her hand after he slammed the door behind him.

Sirius turned to her after pulling something out of his trunk. His eyes, just a little while ago, had seemed so full of anger and bitterness, but now held something she had never seen in him before - resignation. It was new to her, seeing him in such a miserable state. He wordlessly handed her the object, wrapped in a beautiful wool scarf. It was mostly red with gold lining the edges and looked brand new. It was too nice to be worn just casually but Persephone wondered why she'd never seen it on Sirius before. He could have used a good scarf as he was always tugging his cloak closer to him during Quidditch matches and classes outside.

Sirius had his back turned to her, fidgeting with something else on his bed, not wanting her to see his vulnerability. But he felt he had no choice. He could either shock her into awareness or let her go. And he would kill his own brother before he'd let her go. He made that mistake once and he wasn't going to do it again, not when the stakes were so high. Sirius watched her from the corner of his eyes, wanting to see her reaction at his most prized possession.

Carefully her trembling fingers unwrapped the small package. It was obviously something treasured. Pushing the soft folds of the scarf aside, she revealed a small picture of a striking young woman. She was lovely with her dark brown hair and large brown eyes to match, but there it wasn't her beauty that made her stand out. It was the happiness the young woman radiated in her eyes and the small knowing smile – she was obviously in love. She was smiling and waving at the photographer. There was something written diagonally across the bottom corner of the frame. Persephone pulled it closer to her eyes to examine the gold handwriting. There was a tug on her heart as she processed the delicate writing:

"To my beloved Sirius

Love, Your Angel."

This was all fine and lovely, but Persephone still had no idea what Sirius was trying to show her. She turned her eyes upon him, keeping her expression carefully neutral. Persephone didn't have to ask, as Sirius quietly explained.

"Did you ever hear about a girl named Rachel Angelique?" he asked, sighing as he pushed himself towards the head of the bed and leaned against the wall, keeping his eyes hidden from her.

Persephone shook her head at first, but then a vague recollection of the name caused her to stop herself. "Wait…was she in our year?" Her eyes checked his to see if she was right. The gleam in his eye suggested that she was. She could have left the room, ignored him or done any of things she had for the past few weeks, but she felt there was something important in this photograph . . . something important about this girl.

Sirius nodded, his eyes studying her, wanting to see what she remembered of _his_ girl.

"And really kind to everyone? Even the Slytherins?" she asked cautiously.

Again Sirius nodded. It was better that she remembered.

A confused look crossed Persephone's face. "How come I don't see her any more? Did she transfer to . . ." her voice trailed off as she remembered Dumbledore announcing the death in the Great Hall just after the winter holidays. Her breath caught in her throat as she realized that Rachel was the reason Sirius had become so withdrawn for a while. He didn't show up in the Great Hall for meals for two weeks, and the times she had seen him during class he looked like a wreck. She blanched at her careless words.

Sirius gave her a grim, tight smile. "That's right Seph," he said harshly. She wasn't sure if he was angry at her or someone else. "My Angel . . . heh." His voice became hoarse as he struggled with his emotions. He hadn't talked about the worst incident of his life with **anyone**. He didn't think it would have been so hard to relive the pain . . . he thought time should have made it less painful, less bitter, but it was as if she had died all over again. A sudden burst of anger filled him at the feeling with helplessness that overwhelmed him and he lashed out.

Frustrated and wrecked with suppressed emotion Sirius punched the dresser next to his bed, causing the wood to shatter and Persephone to wince. She wasn't sure who she felt more sorry for – Sirius's hand or the old dresser with a new hole in it. She was sure he must have gotten splinters in his hand at the very least, but he paid no attention.

"Damn them!" he yelled. "You make me so angry sometimes Seph," he said hoarsely. "How can you be so stupid as to think of joining Voldemort?" He ripped the picture away from her, pointing to Rachel, still smiling and waving. "What did she ever do to deserve death!" His eyes glittered dangerously, daring her to argue with him. "She dated me. That's why she was killed along with her family during the Winter hols." He sneered, "Such a great group you're thinking of joining."

She looked surprised, which made Sirius even more upset.

"Don't tell me you didn't know. That filth you spent so much time with is one of _them_," he spat. "They kill people because of their blood, for things they can't help, for dating Purebloods. My Angel didn't deserve to die at their hands." Sirius was breathing heavily as Persephone paled. She really hadn't thought of the consequences . . . she just wanted the pain to go away.

"You think that you're the only one who has lost someone you've loved," he said in a low voice. "You're wrong. And while you blamed it on Lily, I blamed myself." He swallowed, self-loathing filling his memories and his body. "I hated myself for the longest time, and I always thought if I had broken up with her she would still be alive. But Rachel didn't let me do that – she told me she knew the risks and if I stopped seeing her because of them, they had won. But in the end they won anyways. She isn't dating me any more," he said bitterly.

Persephone felt tears slide down her cheeks, thinking of how courageous Rachel was, and feeling Sirius's immense grief. It overwhelmed her senses until she could hardly breathe. She could only imagine how much guilt and misery Sirius had gone through, and in that moment she realized she had inflicted that same pain on Lily for no good reason. Persephone had misused her heritance, and shame coursed through her.

Sirius felt hot tears slide down his cheeks – the tears he hadn't shed at her funeral, but he continued, determined to make Persephone understand, determined not to make Rachel's death meaningless. His eyes let tears fall, but his throat constricted, as he forced himself not to completely break down.

"And you, one of the smartest witches in our year are helping them . . . by dividing us. We've all lost something, but not all of us let our grief overshadow what must be done to protect the friends that we have, to keep the loved ones we have left." Sirius narrowed his eyes, traces of disappointment appearing. "We've all lost someone – I've lost Rachel and my brother to this stupid war, Peter lost his little sister just a year ago, and Lily lost her parents this past summer. But none-"

"What?" Persephone interrupted as she turned her eyes sharply on Sirius. She felt horrified that there could be more. Lily's parents were dead? That wasn't possible, she had just seen them right before Lily's birthday, August 1st. "What did you say about Lily?" she asked softly, fear, guilt, all the emotions she hadn't wanted to experience filled her.

Sirius looked suspiciously at her. "Are you telling me you didn't even know your best friend's parents died?"

Persephone shook her head. Oh dear sweet Merlin . . . Lily. She had said . . . done such terrible things to her best friend who was quietly grieving. No wonder she had been so withdrawn at the beginning of the term. She prayed Sirius was lying, that it was all a joke or a nightmare that she would soon wake up from. Why hadn't Lily told her? "You must be lying," she pleaded desperately.

Sirius gave her a disgusted look. "Some friend you are. So now you just want to pretend this isn't real – that other people have suffered even more than you have. By the gods, what a piece of work you are. I can't believe that I even liked you." He closed his eyes, so very tired of it all. He was amazed at the gall of the girl in front of him. Sirius had been so convinced that she was good at heart, but had been led astray by people like his brother. But now he doubted Persephone even cared about Lily. She wasn't the person he thought she was, and he didn't want anything to do with her at the moment. "Merlin . . . just leave. Get out of my room."

She didn't argue and headed out of his room, her head slightly bowed in shame, remorse, and disappointment in herself. But she had to know if her suspicions were correct, so she turned to Sirius, still lying on the bed. "Please I have to know . . . when did Lily's parents die?"

Sirius frowned, but told her anyways, not bothering to waste time thinking why Persephone wanted to know the exact date. "August 1st."

And just as soon as Persephone closed Sirius's door, she rounded a few corners, hiding under the tapestry of a hidden hallway and collapsed in a state of quiet shock and numbness. She had been so stupid – to believe Regulus, to think that everything would be solved by ridding the world of Muggles and Mudbloods. How wrong she had been, to think she would ease the pain of losing her parents through joining a cause. She only hoped that Lily would let her apologize . . . she wouldn't be surprised if Lily never wanted to talk to her again. After all, she wasn't sure she could even forgive herself.

She let words slip to the empty corridor. "Oh gods Lily," she whispered, "I'm so sorry. I'm so terribly sorry." Persephone thought of Lily's parents, her beloved parents who had supported Lily through everything, who Lily had loved more than life itself. And at that moment Persephone vowed that she would do everything in her power to bring Voldemort and his followers to justice. Lily's parents had been blameless, just as Lily was for her own parents' deaths. Persephone realized that now as she thought of the others that had lost their loved ones to a sick monster.

Persephone couldn't stop the few tears she was crying, and she didn't want to. They were the very least tribute she could offer to Lily's parents. She knew how Lily felt losing her parents, but Lily had lost them on her birthday . . . "_Oh Lily, I'm so sorry,_" Persephone thought.

* * *

Lily was having a hard time adjusting. It had been so easy to see James before the journalists had found out. Now she had to be very discrete lest people suspect they were meeting for anything more than Head business. The last thing she wanted to do was encourage rumors.

So James had suggested they move the meetings form the private head common room to the library. Lily was grateful for James's consideration, but the lengths they had to go through to keep their relationship a secret were putting a strain on both of them. Lily wasn't sure what constituted a relationship but the brief kisses, secretive hand squeezes of reassurance, and the constant secrecy made her feel she was committing a crime rather than committing to James.

"Lily?" James asked, drawing her out from her depressing thoughts.

She blinked, as her eyes focused on him, reassuring his worried face with a small smile. "Sorry, I was just thinking."

"I noticed," James said dryly, giving her an amused smile. "It was getting a little boring talking to myself."

"So what were you saying?" Lily said, not wanting James to ask her what she had been thinking. He might interpret it as unwillingness for the relationship on her part. He was so sensitive, or maybe it was his insecurity, about any little thing that might suggest she wasn't interested in him. She couldn't really blame him though. Most of the girls he had dated, which he had admitted to her weren't many, had only been interested in what he had to offer, and not him as a person. Lily didn't know how to reassure James that she wasn't like the others . . . that she wasn't after his fame, or his money, or even his bloodline. Perhaps one day she could prove it beyond a doubt.

"I was merely asking for your opinion of this idea one of the Prefects came up with at the meeting."

Lily glanced over at his notes, skimming down the paper. She found herself agreeing with James on implementing the suggestion. But her thoughts drifted again as she wondered how many girls would be watching him at the Prefect meeting. Probably all of them . . . after all who wouldn't want James with his fabulous wealth and long-standing bloodline, and his good looks didn't hurt either. Hell, even the Slytherin girls would consider James the perfect catch. Despite the rumored ties to Godric Gryffindor, they would only have to convince their parents that they would use it to their advantage, turn the Potter bloodline against Dumbledore, and their parents would agree.

With all the negative thoughts circulating in her head, Lily stood up quickly, ignoring James's concerned questions. Grabbing her book bag, she slung it over her shoulder. "I'm sorry James, but I really can't stay. Could you finish reviewing the proposals just this once?" Her eyes pleaded with James.

He sighed. She was panicking again – he could see it in her eyes. It would only be a matter of time before she decided that she couldn't handle the attention she received from being with him. She wasn't strong enough to take the pressures he was so accustomed to. "Sure Lily, whatever you want," James said with a note of disappointment in his voice. But it was his tone, one of resignation that caused her to meet his eyes. He knew why she was leaving so suddenly.

Lily almost stopped herself from leaving, seeing the sad look in his eyes. _"Please, please just give me time to adjust,_" she begged him silently. Giving him an apologetic smile, she raced out of the library, feeling extremely paranoid and claustrophobic with the looks and glares the girls in the library had been giving her. She rounded a corner too quickly and smacked directly into Narcissa Black. Both girls managed to keep their balance, but once Lily realized who she had run into she braced herself for the onslaught of insults she was sure to come.

Narcissa gave her a malicious smile, as she dusted off her no doubt expensive form-fitting robes.

Lily tried to pass her, not wanting a confrontation, but the Slytherin girl blocked her path. "If you don't mind Narcissa," she began.

The pretty blonde girl ignored her. "Do you really think that you could satisfy James's needs?"

Lily frowned. "I don't know what you're talking about." She hoped that feigned ignorance would be enough to fool her.

Narcissa gave a small laugh. "Oh please Lily. You can't fool all of us into thinking there's nothing between you and James. You're not the first to succumb to his charms. But just a little 'friendly' warning for you. Do you really think that James won't get tired of you? Purebloods weren't good enough for him, do you honestly think that you are? You can't even handle him and the attention that comes with dating a high profile wizard, and you haven't even met his parents. James may tell you that he doesn't care about your lack of a bloodline, but his parents do. They're not the oldest Pureblood line for just any reason." Narcissa moved to the side, to let Lily pass, but shot one last comment at her before she was out of hearing range.

"Best to get out while you can. If you thought the humiliation last time was bad, you have no idea how much worse it can be." With a condescending, smug smile, Narcissa left with her robes moving gracefully about her.

Lily frowned, anxiety eating at her. Her thoughts of escaping for a little while didn't seem so appealing any more. Why couldn't everybody mind their own business? But she knew the answer to that question. It was because she was with James Potter. How did Narcissa know anyways? The Slytherin girl was sharper than most people gave her credit for, but Lily had thought she and James had been very discrete.

So how had she found out?

It was time to do some detective work of her own. Lily wasn't head girl for just any reason.

* * *

"Get," Sirius said quietly, dangerously, "the _fuck_ away from me." He was lying across the bench he had found Persephone at before with his eyes closed, thinking about everything that had gone wrong. He was trying to convince himself that this girl didn't matter. She knew what she was getting into, or deserved what would be coming to her at least.

Remus stood his ground, watching Sirius for a moment before speaking. "I'd just thought you'd like to know and possibly do something about these two dots following James' around." The soothing quality of Remus's voice had a calming effect on Sirius, and he opened his eyes lazily, as his mate tossed him the Marauder's Map. Remus gave him a small smile. "After all, aren't vicious dogs a reporter's best friend?" he said innocently.

The black-haired boy sat up, grabbing the map and rushing past Remus. It was time to vent frustrations.

Sirius grinned wickedly.


	12. Heartbreak

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the long time for the update. No idea when I'll get the next chapter up since I just graduated and will be in the process of moving and starting a new job during the next couple of weeks. It's not the fluffy chapter a lot of you were hoping for, rather a filler I saw as necessary.

* * *

**Chapter 12: Heartbreak**

**By: Almicene Melwen**

**Updated: June 3, 2005**

* * *

"_What a mess,_" Persephone thought as she watched Lily and James from a well worn mahogany table in the library. It was quite obvious to her that her former best friend was uncomfortable with all the attention she was getting. Lily kept fidgeting with her necklace and was trying too hard to pretend the jealous stares didn't bother her. She fervently wished that she could help Lily overcome her anxiety, but this was something Lily would have to learn on her own. Finally overwhelmed, she watched as Lily panicked and left the library quickly. James had a crestfallen expression full of disappointment, resignation and despair. Persephone recognized that look. It was the same one Sirius had given her. She felt his quiet pain and decided she would straighten the boy out. This was something Persephone could do for Lily – reassure James.

Gathering her parchment and quills, Persephone headed over towards the table James was still sitting at. She hid an amused smile at his attempt to scare off a girl that had immediately slid into the polished wooden chair Lily had been sitting in. Straightening her shoulders, holding her head high, Persephone looked every bit a powerful witch. She needed to look the part if she was going to face an upset boyfriend that wasn't particularly fond of her.

Persephone could feel James' emotions – she didn't have to look at his face to sense his surprise and then anger. He held his tongue though as she faced the pretty brunette that had joined James.

"Off you go," said Persephone as she made a nonchalant motion with her hand, as if the very presence of the girl was not worth acknowledging for long. She turned to James.

"Excuse me!" demanded the girl, incensed that someone else _dared_ to interrupt her time with Britain's Most Eligible Bachelor.

The girl had nerves; Persephone had to give her that, but it was far from enough to remotely intimidate her. Persephone turned back to her, fixing her with a cool, calculating gaze, not saying anything for a few seconds. She raised an eyebrow. "Are you _still _here?"

The withering look Persephone gave the girl made her rethink her stance and she gave a hasty apology to James before scampering off. She could always corner him later without this scary witch hanging around.

Admiration.

She felt the brief admiration James held for her before it was replaced with annoyance and anger. She was evoking that emotion a lot, wasn't she.

"Give me one good reason that I shouldn't hex you right now," James growled. The witch sitting in front of him had caused Lily a great deal of pain.

"I won't," Persephone said simply as she met James's eyes with her own. "I came to explain something to you about Lily." She paused, watching his reaction. James hadn't reached for his wand or left so she took that as a sign to continue. "You _need_ to give Lily some time to adjust. Don't be selfish or stupid and think the way she's acting is all about you. It isn't."

"What do you mean?" James asked. How could she claim Lily's behavior had nothing to do with him. His brows knitted in confusion.

Persephone could see why Lily liked him. She rolled her eyes. "Boys," she muttered. "Look you're a bright wizard so hopefully I don't have to explain this more than once. Lily had a life before you, you know." James gave her a dark scowl at the implication he was daft. The blond witch thought about the irony of her lecture. She wasn't one to talk about Lily's life as if she knew every detail.

"She's not reacting well from the attention she's getting because she learned that it was a horrible thing. The more attention she got from her parents – the more jealous and hateful her sister became."

"Sister?"

"Lily never mentioned her?"

James shook his head.

"Well can't say I'm not surprised. She's not a great topic of conversation. I'd tried to forget I had a sister too if I had Petunia for a sister. Anyways, Lily tried to draw as little attention as possible to herself because she wanted a peaceful relationship with her sister. It didn't work though. She's the only witch in their muggle family, became a Prefect, and now Head Girl. Her parents adored her, and inadvertently made Petunia feel left out. Petunia tried her best to get some of the same kind of attention Lily had, but well…to be honest, she's just a plain girl, and her jealousy didn't do her any good." Persephone paused, looking at James to see if he was following her conversation. He was, so she continued.

"And now here you are bringing an entire country's worth…well two if you count France… of attention to her. She sees it as a force that breaks family and friends apart. Maybe it doesn't make sense to you, but that's the way she sees it." Persephone stopped, looking directly into his eyes. "And if you even _think _that you're good enough for her, then you'll help her through her insecurities instead of sulking like a spoiled child."

James looked pensive and started to say something but the blond witch interrupted.

"This stays between us," she demanded, no room for compromise in her voice, taking a deep breath, surprised that she had enough courage to face James.

James started again, this time managing to interrupt her. "Why should I believe anything you've said," he challenged. "You've done nothing but give her grief for the past few months."

Persephone sighed, breaking eye contact. "I haven't always been a good friend to her…"

James rolled his eyes at the understatement.

Her voice trailed off, sadness creeping through her voice. "She's still my friend even if I'm no longer hers." With that, Persephone walked off before James could add anything else, knowing that she hadn't directly answered his question.

James scowled at her retreating figure, annoyed that she had intruded on his business and the fact she hadn't bothered to answer his question. Persephone had made at least one valid point, James reluctantly admitted – he needed to be with Lily, reassuring her, instead of…what were her words? Oh right, he thought darkly, "skulking like a spoiled child."

* * *

Closing her eyes, Lily sat on a window sill of an old forgotten classroom. The room was darkening by the minute as the sun began to set and its light covered the distant mountains. This was one of Lily's favorite places to go, where the classroom stood unused by anyone except her as far as she knew. She lost herself to a particular memory that she had hoped would remain buried in the corners of her mind…with the help of a charm of course. But in the current situation with the excessive attention, had brought it back out. The headaches would only become worse if she didn't release it.

"_Solvi_," she whispered with her wand pointed at her head. Then Lily let her wand drop to the floor as the images flooded her mind.

* * *

"Freak!" Petunia yelled at Lily, pain evident on both their expressions, with tears running down her face as she kneeled next to the bodies of their parents. Petunia had brought Lily back home at five o'clock, just like their parents had asked. It was Lily's birthday and Mr. & Mrs. Evans wanted to decorate the house to surprise Lily.

Even now, the streamers hung perfectly from wall to wall, a beautiful strawberry ice cream birthday cake (Lily's favorite) sat on the table with candles unlit, beginning to melt and presents were on the coffee table near the couches. It hurt to look at them.

"Petty," Lily sobbed, reaching out to her older sister, wanting to touch her parents but not daring to if Petunia's murderous expression was any indication of the consequences.

"_You _did this didn't you! This is all your fault, isn't it!" Petunia screamed, examining her Mum and Dad for any indication they were still alive. There was none. She didn't need to be a witch to realize her parents had died of _unnatural _causes. Her Mum's body was bleeding from several places, her fists clenched tightly. Their father was not much better.

Lily took a couple of steps forward when Petunia rounded on her and slapped her.

"Don't you _dare_," she hissed, as her voice quivered.

Tears fell down Lily's face, but she bit back her sobs. She wanted to convince Petty so badly that it wasn't her fault, that they needed each other more than ever now. But she also knew that her efforts would be in vain. Any chances for reconciliation she had with her sister were now dead…along with her parents. Lily never wanted to hurt Petty by becoming a witch and attending Hogwarts, but her sister hadn't wanted to hear it. Lily tried to please her sister in hopes of restoring the relationship they once had by letting Petunia boss her around, hoping it would pacify her. So when Petunia glared at her, speaking words that haunted Lily to this day, she gave in to Petunia's wishes.

"Get out," Petunia barked. "**You **are not my sister any more. Your cursed magic brought this upon _my _parents. If you hadn't gone to that freak school this never would have happened and you know it." She glared at the redhead, daring her to contest her claims. "I don't want to see you ever again – not tomorrow, not at Mum and Dad's funeral, never again. Do you understand me, freak?" Petunia demanded. "They didn't deserve this!" she screamed. "Their only mistake was letting you stay after they found out you became a witch. Well I won't make their mistake. Now get out!" she yelled hysterically.

Lily nodded, her heart breaking with the loss of her family – living and dead. She spoke before apparating away, "I still love you, Petty." And with a 'pop' she left. Petunia shut her mouth, wanting to add another hurtful comment – thinking somehow that she would hurt less by hurting Lily. Petunia managed to call for help a few minutes later in between her anguished sobs.

* * *

Lily took a few deep breaths, willing herself not to break down in tears from her most painful memory. Picking herself up, she pocketed her wand that had fallen to the floor. She had work to attend to anyways. Lily decided she would work in the Common Room today, just in case anyone decided they needed her help with something. Hefting her heavy bookbag filled with extra Charms books, spotting a few students she knew along with the Slytherin Quidditch team on the way to practice. Her thoughts wandered to her conversation with Severus, and she wondered if he had taken to heart any of the unwanted advice she gave him. Of course!

Her mind quickly put together the puzzle pieces. Severus was the reason Narcissa had known. Lily had looked him in the eyes so he could see she was speaking the truth. She realized her mistake now – she had naively assumed that he would only look for that memory.

"_That sneaky bastard,_" Lily thought darkly. She had expected better from him, but there was no other way Narcissa could have known all the things she did. Lily would talk to him later.

The seventh year witch entered the Gryffindor Common Room quietly, setting herself on a plush couch. About an hour later, with the occasional person talking to her, James came in.

Almost immediately the room quieted down. The boisterous chatting that had been going on before he arrived hushed. They had heard the rumors, and read the articles. The few Gryffindors that were in the room wanted to be the first to spread the gossip among their friends about the infamous James Potter…even at the expense of him and Lily.

Spotting the pretty redhead writing notes on the assigned reading for Charms, he sat down next to her. A few people had the nerve to openly stare at the two and James gave them his best glare in return.

Lily, for her part, continued scribbling on her parchment, pretending that it wasn't James sitting next to her. A strand of her hair fell in front of her face and she saw James twitch beside her.

He had managed to curb his urge to tuck her hair back into place in time. What excuse could he use this time to get her away from the prying eyes?

Lily coughed, then met James's eyes. "Time for patrol?"

Brilliant! "_What a perfect excuse_," James thought. He looked at his watch, and realized that she was right. She wasn't making excuses. "Yes, actually," he told her.

"Alright," she agreed.

When they were walking in the corridors, heading towards her room to drop off her books and whatnot, Lily could feel James continually glancing at her.

He shoved his hands in the pockets of his robes. That would prevent any urges he had to touch her.

"What?" Lily asked exasperated by their silence and his continual staring.

"One moment please," James requested as he dug the Marauder's Map from his other pocket. Dusting it off, and stopping a few feet behind Lily, he whispered the words to unlock the secrets of the map.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," he whispered quiet enough so Lily couldn't hear as he tapped it.

Seeing no one close, especially not those nosy reporters, he returned the map to its blank state.

"Mischief managed."

Catching up to Lily, who raised an eyebrow at his strange behavior. "Sorry," he gave her a lopsided grin.

"You know, I would understand if you were whispering terms of endearment to other girls. Merlin, even other guys if you preferred it…but parchment?" She gave him an amused smile.

"There's only one girl I want to be whispering terms of endearment to," he said charmingly, sending a wink in her direction.

Color came to her cheeks, but Lily refused to let this sweet talker get the best of her. "Oh really? Well let me know when she comes along so I can leave you two alone then." She winked right back at him.

James frowned. How did she do that?

They had reached her Head Girl room. Remembering an earlier time they had come here together James stood there expectantly.

Lily rolled her eyes. "No hearing the password means no hearing the password pervert."

"But-" James protested.

Lily pointed a finger in one direction, towards the end of the hall, her foot tapping impatiently. "The sooner you go over there like a good little Head Boy, the sooner we can get patrols done. I'll only be a minute, really!"

The black-haired wizard gave her a look over his glasses that clearly said: 'fine, but I don't have to like it.'

His shoes made a noise as he walked to the end of the hall.

"Around the corner James. I know you have good hearing!" Lily admonished him.

She waited until he rounded the corner to whisper her password to Morrígan, the Celtic goddess, dressed in regal robes with a haughty air about her.

"Tiger Lily," she whispered sadly. She really needed to change the password one of these days. She had originally made it in honor of her parents – her dad had called her that – but every time she said it…

"Welcome back," said Morrígan, in her slightly accented voice, nodded her head slightly, before the portrait swung open.

The rose James had given her, or rather transfigured for her, sat perfect and untouched in its vase, its sparkling essence trailed to the floor and onto the desk. It had only slightly aged since he had first given it to her a few months ago, as it aging properties took after the tree it was from. Lily smiled at seeing it, letting her fingers touch the magical trails of glitter. It felt cool like running water, yet soothing.

Reaching the other side of her room, she dropped her books onto the small couch and headed back towards the door. A voice stopped her in her tracks though.

"So this is what your room looks like," came a suspiciously familiar baritone voice.

The redhead's eyes widened in shock. "James!"

She heard a chuckle and whipped her wand out toward the direction she heard the sound. Her green eyes narrowed. "You are in _loads _of trouble when I catch you James," she promised darkly.

"Then I shan't let myself be caught!" he teased.

Lily shot off a spell in the direction she heard his voice, but she missed. "Grr," she growled menacingly. "Where are you, prat?" she demanded, uncomfortable not knowing where he was.

"Right behind you." His warm breath tickled her ear and he wrapped his arms around her before she could turn around to hex him. James effectively pinned her arms to her side.

"Mmm, you smell nice," he complimented her.

Lily shifted uncomfortably. "It's the conditioner."

"Nope, it's you." He hugged her, planting a kiss on her cheek.

"Invisibility cloak or invisibility charm?" Lily asked, changing the subject. She was getting very uncomfortable very quickly at his attention.

"Cloak," James answered.

"Mind taking it off now?"

"Yep," he said, grinning even though she couldn't see it. He knew he wasn't completely forgiven yet, and didn't want to risk bodily injury.

"James," she said, releasing an exasperated breath.

"I know you want to hurt me and my chance for future children. Besides, I like this position." He rested his head on top of hers, feeling her agitation. "Alright, alright. Come with me though."

"To?" she asked.

"My house for Christmas dinner. All of us will-"James started, but she interrupted.

"No thanks." Lily's voice hitched in her throat, as sadness overwhelmed her. Her heart still ached with the loss of her family. Not to mention, there was that small voice that reminded her of what Narcissa had told her – pureblood. James's parents surely wouldn't welcome her, and she couldn't take the pain of another rejection especially during the holidays just yet.

"It's just dinner Lily," James argued. He wanted to share his favorite holiday with her, make her see there were people that loved her. He wanted to show her off to his parents. He was sure she would change their mind about the way they felt about Muggleborns.

"I said **no **James," she said, stubbornly. James' hold on her had loosened and she managed to break free.

Lily grabbed her wool scarf for warmth. It was a dark emerald green, just like her eyes. Her Mum bought it as a present for her, last Christmas actually. She pushed the memories away, determined to slog through work so she wouldn't have to think about them.

"Let's go," the redhead demanded fiercely.

"Is this because of your parents, Lily?" James asked, taking off his cloak, and tossing it over his arm. He winced as he realized how tactless he sounded.

Apparently Lily was surprised at his bluntness as well. "How dare you!" she hissed.

"I'm telling you because no one else will. Everyone is walking on eggshells around you Lily! I'm very sorry that you're hurting and I wish to Merlin that you would let me help you. But I can't if you don't move on! They're dead whether you accept it or not! Dead, gone, deceased." He took a deep breath. This was going to hurt; he just knew it, but someone had to bring her back to reality.

"I **know **that!" Lily said passionately, tears stinging her eyes, but to her great pride and credit, only a few tears slid down her face. "You of ALL people don't have to remind me."

"So I just imagined that owlery incidence then," James blurted out. Oops, he hadn't meant to mention that. "Er.."

Her mouth gaped open in surprise and hurt. No words came out as her eyes, full of pain, looked at James, unbelieving that he was the one to cut her so brutally with words. Lily shut her mouth quickly, gave him one last look full of betrayal, and ran out of the room.

"Wait! Lily!" But she was already gone. James hit his head on the nearest wall. He sighed. "I'm such a git."


	13. The Parents

Author's Note: Yes I know it's been a while. Well one of the harder chapters for me to write, but here it is finally.

* * *

**Chapter 13: The Parents**

* * *

For all his fame, his various titles, and casual dates, James was not an expert of women by far. However, he did know that he had said some very cruel remarks to Lily. It had to be done, but he hated himself for having done it. James sighed – so much for his good intentions to invite Lily over to meet his parents. He thought the hard part would have been convincing his parents that his choice in girlfriend was a good one.

"So that's it then mate?" Sirius asked James as they finished packing for the winter hols.

"Yes," James replied, exasperated. "She's not changing her mind." He viciously crammed a dark green sweater into his trunk. "Can we drop this now?" James was getting tired of his friend's persistence. "I know you just want to torture her more over the holidays, but she's not coming and that's that!"

"How many times did you ask?" Sirius continued, unperturbed by James' irritation.

"Enough."

"What? One? Two? Ten? Twenty? This isn't the James I know to give up so easily," Sirius baited. "I haven't seen you often stop until you get what you want."

"Look." James glared at Sirius. "The first time I asked Lily it didn't go over so well, alright? I let her know she was welcome to change her mind at any time. And **since," **James growled, shoving another sweater into his trunk, "she's managed to avoid me since then, I'll assume she hasn't-"

A knock on the door interrupted him. Sirius shot James a smug grin. He opened the door, trying not to feel too hopeful.

A little boy, who could not be older than a first or second year, held a small present in his hand. Curled gold ribbons hung off the side of the carefully wrapped package. "Are you Mister James Potter?" the sandy-colored hair boy asked, sweat collecting on his brow as he fidgeted with his green and silver tie in nervousness.

"Yes – what do you want?" James asked, irritation in his tone as he eyed the boy with great dislike.

Sirius gave his mate a reprimanding look. It wasn't the little boy's fault that he wasn't Lily. James merely rolled his eyes.

"I was told to give this to you." He offered the package to James, who snatched it and shooed the boy away without even a 'thank you.'

"My, aren't you in a happy holiday spirit Prongs," Sirius teased him.

"Bugger off." The black haired wizard examined the present, looking at the tag.

_From: L._

_To: My Dearest James_

James quickly opened it without thinking twice.

"Generally you wait until Christmas to open those," Sirius pointed out.

James ignored him, his curiosity getting the better of him. If Lily had wanted him to wait, she would have written so or sent it later.

A powerful looking gold ring with an onyx center lay in the white box. The jeweler was a fairly well known one in Britain.

Sirius gaped in awe. "Is that what I think it is?"

James frowned, not understanding why Sirius thought it was a big deal. "What?"

"Sir Kay's Jewelers only sells high quality rings with unique Charms." Sirius scrambled to grab the box, lifting the small pouch the ring had been held in.

"This particular onyx gem has been imbued with a powerful Fire Resistance Charm by Lady Danu," Sirius read aloud. "Wow, Lady Danu herself Charmed your ring. This is some gift James." He whistled in admiration.

"Fire resistance – how odd, but it is a handsome ring nonetheless," James agreed.

"Put it on, put it on!" Sirius urged.

James slid the ring onto his finger, feeling a sudden chill as the Charm took effect. The air shimmered around James and returned to normal in the blink of an eye.

"Guess Lily isn't as mad at you as you thought you big oaf!" Sirius clapped James on the back.

James hid a smile, pushing Sirius off his bed.

* * *

Sitting in the warm, cozy kitchen with a cup of hot chocolate, Lily closed her eyes. She cleared her mind of thoughts about her parents, Petunia, Persephone and of the distressing recent events that made her feel Voldemort's reach extended inside the very walls of Hogwarts.

Lily composed herself enough to reevaluate her relationship with James in a relatively calm manner.

Was it worth it? She was quite familiar with the prejudice in the Wizarding World, in Hogwarts, even in some her closest friends. The question was could she handle it from James' parents too – knowing that they would always consider her second class and never good enough for him. Lily knew that was only the beginning. She'd be scrutinized by the media constantly, be an even bigger target for Muggleborn haters, and wonder whether any one that wanted to be her friend had good intentions.

Another more important question was how long would the relationship last. What did James want from her exactly? Would he forget her when some prettier, wealthier, smarter girl came along?

A good part of her relationship would have to be done on faith on her part. She would have to give him a decent amount of trust if anything was to work. That would take courage. Lily heaved a great big sigh, wondering how the world had become so complicated so quickly.

An idea struck her…there was one way she could find out. It was more devious than anything she had done before and she risked losing James's trust, but the reward of knowledge tempted her.

* * *

James' eyes darted to the window of the carriage again, hoping that the list had been wrong - that **she **had changed her mind and was coming. He managed to corner her into the conversation about spending the holidays with him but Lily refused politely. She had 'other arrangements' she told him. And who was he to argue? He couldn't tell her that his house was safer – Death Eater attacks had been unnaturally subdued for the past month, and not to mention all of the Slytherins (whom he just knew had to be Death Eaters in training) were going home for the holidays. It looked to be a nicer Christmas than it had been in years, no blizzards or snowstorms so far – only light winter snow that dusted the treetops for a pretty romantic setting around the castle grounds. James had no good argument to convince her to spend the holidays with him.

His hazel eyes darted to the windowsill again.

"You know if you keep peeking out the window some might think you're desperate," Remus said with an amused smile.

"Not to mention the reporters will catch a glimpse of you," added Peter as he sat comfortably across from James, digging into yet another package of Chocolate Frogs. Cursing as it was not the Morgan Le Fay card he wanted he tossed the chocolate frog at Sirius, who gulped it down in a couple of bites.

"Oh yes, what an exciting headline that'll be – 'James Potter riding in a carriage!'" James exclaimed - his patience sorely tested with the media.

Sirius chuckled. "A more interesting title would have been 'James Potter interested in men?' After all, there are only boys in this ride along with your cat of course."

James ignored him and gave up his pretense that he was not interested in looking for Lily. "You don't think she'll change her mind at the last minute then?" he asked, clinging to a desperate hope.

"I don't claim to be an expert, but Lily doesn't seem to be the type to change her mind once she's made it. A bit like you in fact, mate" Sirius chimed in.

"You guys could act a little sad that she's not coming over for the hols," James grumbled, folding his arms across his chest in a childlike manner. Demmez lay sleeping next to him, wrapped in his warm wool scarf. He wondered briefly what the house elves would make of the orange hair on his scarf or the cat for that matter.

"Oh please," Peter said, rolling his eyes. "Between the two choices of you ignoring us for the entire holiday for a bird no less, or moping around for the holidays over said bird, you can't expect us to be thrilled."

James' eyes flashed with annoyance. "I would not act like that!"

Remus elbowed Sirius and whispered conspiratorially, intending for James to overhear. "Merlin, you'd think he was the girl."

Sirius nodded in agreement. "So melodramatic."

James gave his mates irritated glares and turned to his cat. "You're with me aren't you, love?"

Demmez opened an eye, meowed, and went promptly back to sleep.

Peter, Sirius, and Remus laughed as the coach began to move, while James adopted a grumpy frown on his face.

* * *

"Are you ready Master James?" The hired help of the Potter mansion turned to the only child of the elder Potters. Moving to pick up James' bags, he walked with a prim and proper air about him. His back held straight even though his salt and pepper hair had become more salt as of late.

James stiffened at the formal address, not accustomed to it after being away from home for a few months. He stopped the elderly butler from picking up his bags lightened by a Charm. "Not this time Wilfred. Thank you though." Grabbing his bags swiftly, he followed Wilfred to apparate to the extravagant car his parents insisted he take back to the mansion. For all their disdain of Muggles, they enjoyed flaunting their wealth to Muggles and Wizards alike, and what better way to show it than an unnecessary, expensive limousine.

The old butler was surprised at James' attitude – grateful yes, but more surprised. The young man had never given a thought to anyone but himself usually. "Anything wrong, Master James?"

Having been lost in his thoughts, James gave him a startled smile. "Oh nothing really. I was just…thinking of a good friend," he said carefully picking his words. He didn't doubt the clever old man would report anything amiss to his parents. "Thanks for your concern though, Wilfred."

* * *

The drive to the Potter mansion was relatively peaceful, except for the last stretch before the gates where the usual horde of girls waited for him. Didn't they have anything else to do? James felt rather uncomfortable as girls pressed themselves against the windows. He knew they couldn't get even a glance at him, but that didn't stop them from trying. One particularly bold girl showed her phone number written across skin that any decent girl would have covered twice over.

Demmez was stiff in James' lap. Her ears flattened back as she hissed at the girls, who were trying to claw each other for a better position. Didn't they realize they couldn't see through the dark tinted windows?

James chuckled as he reassured Demmez with gentle strokes. "You'd think they were the cats wouldn't you, love?"

Demmez swiped at him, careful to keep her claws retracted, hitting his cheek.

James put his hands in the air in a mock surrender. "No offense intended! Don't hurt me," he laughed.

She responded to his submission by rubbing her body against him in an affectionate purr. James forgot all about the women outside as they arrived home, if a very large mansion surrounded by gardens, tropical and magical trees, could be called a 'home.'

Instead of customarily waiting for Wilfred to open his door, James hurried out of the car, Demmez in tow, knowing full well the house elves would see to his luggage.

Mounting the steps three at a time he barge through the Gothic style arched doors leading to the waiting room. Setting the orange kitten down he urged her to explore. "I'll find you in a bit, just have some fun for now."

Seeing Demmez hesitatingly sniff around, James left to find his parents. What he found though, was not only his parents, but yet another unwanted…situation.

Spotting a blonde woman and her daughter, James knew it was another set up. He tried to walk backward unnoticed, but his mother caught sight of him slinking away.

"Oh darling, what coincidental timing," Evelyn gushed.

He barely managed to refrain from rolling his eyes. There was very little that was coincidence in his house. Gritting his teeth at the unpleasant task before him, James gave his mother a terse smile. "How lovely you look Mother," he said, walking over to plant a kiss on her outstretched hand.

"Oh come now. I'd like you to meet Mademoiselle Claire and her mother. They're descended from the old French royalty," she added with a wink.

"How fascinating!" James said with sarcastic enthusiasm. "So was it your ancestor that was running away from the angry French peasants only to be beheaded later, or am I mistaken?"

"That would be the one," exclaimed Claire's mother, not understanding James sarcasm. "You know your history!"

Claire, on the other hand, recognized the insult for what it was. She retorted with sarcasm of her own. "My my, what a riot you are. You must be the comedian of the school." She flashed a disarming pearly white smile. If not for the words, her tone could be almost mistaken for sweet.

James glanced at her; she earned one point for not being the clueless idiot his parents usually introduced, but she had a long way to go before getting any where near his good side.

"Well now that we're all acquainted, let's have some dinner then shall we?" James' father interjected before the awkward conversation could stretch on.

As dinner droned on, James found himself wishing he were any place but his current location. Even Professor Slughorn's potions class was beginning to seem appealing. Madame Deveaux, as she preferred to be called, rambled on incessantly about her daughter's virtues. James wondered if her daughter was a person or a product.

"She is the most delightful student," Madame Deveaux insisted in a slight French accent.

Claire, seated across the table from James, sighed. She hated being showcased and presented as if she were some future trophy wife – which no doubt she would be if her mother had her way. Just because they were left penniless by her father, didn't mean they needed to find a rich husband for her.

Her mother continued despite the obvious boredom of everyone at the table except for Evelyn. "And all the boys, _Dieu_, how they try to win her affections!" She gave a silly laugh, as if what she said was the most amusing thing in the world.

Wondering what James made of all this, Claire spared him a glance. He cheekily raised a glass at her. Why the insufferable prick – as if she wanted to be here in the first place! She felt herself turn pink with anger before she managed to calm herself – she was a lady after all.

As Claire toyed with a small piece of dessert – a very lovely raspberry cheesecake – James excused himself from the dinner table. Finally! The horrid night was drawing to a close. At least, that's what she thought until Mrs. Potter interrupted her inward celebration.

"Oh Claire, darling. Would you be a love and check on James please?" The conniving bat dared to add insult to injury by giving her a not-so-secret wink.

Claire crumpled her napkin in disgust, but offered a cheery radiant smile as she tossed the napkin onto the table harder than etiquette dictated. "Of course Madame Potter."

"Oh please, call me Evelyn," the extravagantly dressed woman insisted.

The blonde French girl curtsied before leaving the room. "As you wish." Sparing Evelyn a last glimpse, Claire wondered how Monsieur Potter ever married her. Decked in pearls, jewels, and silks, it was such a disgusting display of her wealth. While her family barely managed to feed themselves, this woman insisted on rubbing everyone else's nose, intentionally or not, in their less fortunate situations. No wonder James was such a pig. If she ever did marry one day, Claire hoped it would be to someone that she loved and respected, regardless of his monetary worth, although money never hurt.

She found James apparently talking to himself on one of the marble balconies framed by looming gargoyle statues.

"Why must mum do this every bloody time!" James exclaimed, frustrated.

Claire watched him as he picked up a ball of orange fuzz. Well it was a small step up from talking to himself.

"So it looks like you're just fine," Claire said, amused at his surprise at being caught talking to a cat. Did he forget that he had guests? How careless of him. "I will report the _astounding _findings to your mother." Her French accent crept into her words as she failed to curb her anger with him.

"Well the next time you feel inclined to invade my privacy please control your nosy urges," James told her, unhappy that she was here, even after he had suffered through her company for the past few hours.

Claire huffed, never having been so insulted by a supposedly well-bred man. "Why you…" She marched up to him, angry as a scorned Veela. "What makes you think you're so superior to me? The way you act, the way you treat people – it's disgusting! At least I have manners, common sense, and pride of what I am – **who **I am!" Her words were rushed as she struggled to contain her justified anger.

James indulged his curiosity. "What do you mean? I have pride, too much if you ask my friends. And I treat people, who _matter,_" he emphasize the word indicating he didn't think she was one who did matter, "with respect."

"Please. I've seen pictures of you with mudbloods, that one redhead in particular." Claire shuddered upon remembering, while James bristled at the very offensive word and her casual use of it. "People who matter!" she said with incredulity. "I think you have lost all sense of good breeding. If you consider a mudblood someone that matters, I feel sorry for you. If anything, I'm too good for you." She stamped her heel for emphasis and fled the room, her simple but elegant pink chiffon gown rustling as she left. Demmez hissed at her back.

James was shocked at her vehement tone and ugly words. Then again, it was just like his mum, or his stepmum rather, to pick someone like her – concerned about blood purity over character. Determined to rectify the situation, he went to find his parents. There was only so much he could take.

* * *

His mother was sipping expensive white wine, no doubt the best France had to offer. She smiled indulgently at him.

"Darling, how did you like Claire?" She continued, not letting him answer the question. "She was absolutely fabulous wasn't she?"

"Horrid little-"

"James!" his mother admonished him, her bubbly disposition gone instantly. "Really now."

James gave her a stern look. "Why are you doing this, mum?"

"Doing what exactly? Being a good parent and looking out for your best interests?" She crossed her legs, daintily slipping off her high heels. "Why can't you just date a nice girl? There isn't a shortage of them who would love to be seen with you," she pointed out.

"That's just it! They couldn't give a damn **who** I am. They care about how much I own, my bloodline! I'm bloody-"

"James!" His father came in the room and immediately went to his wife. His son was not going to use that tone with Evelyn. "That's enough-"

"No!" James cut in. "I'm not done. I'm damn tired of being your little heir. I don't want any of your charity, your money if it means I have to marry someone I hate. Doesn't my happiness, what **I **want mean _anything _to you?" he cried, hoping they would understand. "For God's sake-"

Evelyn gasped. "A Muggle expression? This is exactly what I was afraid of," she said to Harold. Then turning to James she said firmly. "That's it. You've obviously been spending too much time in the presence of those beneath you. Mudbloods."

James laughed. Scathing words escaped his lips, as their blatant disrespect of who Lily was fueled his anger. "Those 'beneath' me? What a load of crap! I have friends that actually care about me! I wouldn't trade them for the likes of those you deem worthy – like the Notts or even the Malfoys."

Harold stood in protest. "We never-"

"Oh yes I know, you wouldn't associate with them because of their particular affinity for the Dark Arts. But yes, those type of people – with money, Pureblood – that's all that matters to you. My friends will still be around even if I didn't have a shilling to my name. I can't say the same for your 'friends.'" James was blazing with passion for his beliefs – what he felt to be right. "You make me sick," he spat. "All your stupid notions of who is worthy and who is not. I'll not marry someone like dear old Evelyn here. You know I've always wondered how 'coincidental' it was you two just 'happened' to meet up again after dad became rich."

Evelyn gasped.

"That's enough James!" Harold bellowed. Even if his son's words held the possibility of truth, he would not hear accusations against his beloved wife. She had comforted after the death of his first wife – James' mother – and been there when he needed a wife and James needed a mother. He couldn't ask for more from her. So what if she enjoyed spending heaps of money. Everyone had their quirks. She cared about James just as much as he did, and that was what was important to him.

James sneered at his stepmother. "I wonder if you would still be here if Dad went broke."

Before his parents had a chance to berate him, James stormed out, slamming the door behind him just as Madame Deveaux gaped in shock behind him, having returned to talk to the Potters about an engagement.

* * *

Madame Deveaux crept into the room, as if she was afraid of interrupting a private moment. "My, what a _lively _spirit the boy has," she offered to smooth the situation over. She looked quite ruffled from her brief encounter with James.

Harold wore a troubled look but cast her a small smile as if he were placating a child who had said the wrong thing with good intentions.

No one said anything for few moments. The French woman was afraid of saying something improper, while the Potters were deep in thought about their son's outburst.

Finally, her original intentions caused Madame Deveaux to press further. "So about the engagement between our children." She smoothed back a wiry strand of an unnatural shade of blonde hair. It looked as if it had been bleached and Charmed one too many times. Beads of sweat gathered on her forehead, which was lightly lined with wrinkles. She dabbed at the incriminating evidence of her nervousness with a small handkerchief.

Harold turned his attention to her, having made a decision. His wife cast him a wary glance – she knew what that look meant. "I'm sorry Madame Deveaux, but we are no longer interested in making an arrangement," he said, not unkindly. His brown eyes shone with a sincere apology.

Insulted, the French woman 'hmphed' at him, and snatched her things. A simple apology would not compensate for the insult to her pride.

The older wizard stood up as a proper gentleman should, as she left the room.

"Really now, was that completely necessary?" Evelyn chided her husband, unhappy with his decision.

Harold looked over his glasses at her, giving her a 'what do you think?' look. "What is more important to you – image or our son?"

Evelyn made an offhand remark – "Naturally, he's more your son than anything else."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" He knew Evelyn loved James, but her ingrained tendency to care too much about high society and what everyone else thought often caused her to overlook the more important things.

"You saw his atrocious behavior!" She gestured wildly, upset with the previous display that she felt only someone of lower class would exhibit. "In my day no proper, respectable gentleman would ever raise his voice at a lady nor lose control of his emotions. He's too free-spirited!" Evelyn argued. She wanted what was best for their family – couldn't he understand that? "The boy needs discipline. We mustn't capitulate because he has a temper tantrum!" She continued to rant, venting her frustrations from the humiliation she suffered because of James. One example was at the prestigious Highwater party only a short while ago. Someone had said in a snotty voice, intending for her to overhear – "Oh isn't she the mother of the boy that's been romping around with Mudbloods in the tabloids?"

She was close to tears when Harold interrupted. "Do you think he has even a small point?" When his wife sniffed and shook her head to disagree, he continued. "We keep pushing him to do what we think is best for him-"

"-As it should be," she commented.

Harold continued, unfazed. "But what if the price of his unhappiness is too much to pay for this 'image' you cherish so much. I've indulged your fancies for quite some time now my dear. But I don't feel we should force James to marry someone he has no desire to, regardless of whether or not we feel it is in his best interest."

Evelyn waved off the notion with her hand. "He's too young to know what he wants."

Harold smiled in amusement. "You've been saying that for the past three years, dear."

She faltered a little. "Well – it's still true."

"Would it really be so terrible to let **our," **he emphasized the word, "son decide what he wants?"

The dark haired witch gasped. Her hand flew to cover her gaping mouth. "Blasphemy. I know you've seen the news too, Harry." She used his name lovingly despite her shock. "Lila Evils or some rubbish – she's not even Half Blood!"

Harold looked troubled now. Frowning, he reasoned with her (and himself). He approached the topic slowly and with much caution. This was new territory for both of them. They had descended from generations of Pureblood wizards and witches who would have never even listened to a notion of dating a non-Pureblood, let alone anything further. "I admit I'm not happy with it either…but I **am **willing to give her a chance if James is truly serious about dating her. Mind you, it's not an engagement, but if nothing comes of it, James might be willing to be more open to our suggestions."

Evelyn gave him a genuine smile. "I knew there was a reason I married you."

Harold scooted over to her on the couch, placing one arm around her slim shoulders. He quirked an eyebrow, much like James did when he was about to get himself into trouble. "Oh? You mean you didn't marry me for my money or dashing good looks?"

The next thing he knew, he was bound and gagged with a wand pointed at him by his wife. She tucked her wand back into her robe. She gave him a smug smile. "That'll teach you, you cheeky dolt."


	14. The Potter Party

**Author's Note: **It's been a while I know, apologies :P If you asked a question before and I didn't answer, please repost. It's late and I'd rather get this out sooner. Hopefully I answered most of you by personal replies. If you're curious about the other stories – "Hidden Talents" is being updated today, "Undefeated" is still on the backburner. Thanks for being patient with me and all of your reviews.

* * *

**Chapter 14: The Potter Party**

* * *

There was a certain buzz of excitement in the cold, crisp air of Hogwarts castle as students bustled back to their dorms after the long, welcome winter holidays. Many were eager to see their friends again, while others were dreading classes the next day. The Marauders were no different than the others, talking in excited tones about their holidays, or at least a couple of them were.

"Pete, you never said how your holidays were, amidst all James' blabbering of Lily's second present," Sirius said. The boys turned their attention to him.

Pete waved his mates' concerns off. "Nothing special. My mum made lots of puddin', roast ham, the usual, you know." He looked down at his hands absentmindedly, and suddenly remembered. "Oh! Thank you for the bloody fantastic present! You don't know how long I've been looking for that Morgan Le Fay card."

"Oh trust us, we know," Remus remarked. The others chuckled. "If we had to hear you moan about that card one more day we would have gone mad, so really, it was more of a present to us than you," he teased good naturedly

The boys huddled around the fire, rubbing their hands together. It was so cold outside that they wondered if they would ever be able to feel their fingers again. Despite the horrid weather, they were in an astoundingly good mood for the Sunday before classes began again – James especially.

"Well, I'm off," James announced, stretching his legs and heading out of the Head Boy room. He tried to hide his eagerness, but the others saw right through him.

"It's only been a few weeks for Merlin's sake James! Don't you want to spend time with your good ole mates?" Sirius teased.

James grinned, sticking his head back in the room quickly. "Nope!" He had a redhead to catch.

* * *

James found Lily patrolling the castle, helping first years find their rooms again, making sure none of the ghosts were wreaking too much havoc around the castle. She was walking quite fast, and he had to sprint to catch up to her.

"Lily, hey," James said simply. He pulled her into an empty corridor behind tapestries where no one could hear them. Was it him or did she seem guilty almost? She was fidgeting and not meeting his eyes. He tilted her chin up to meet her eyes.

"You didn't return or get any of my owl posts. I was worried, thought something might have happened to you until I got your Christmas present and letter. Thanks for the picture by the way. I was very impressed you found such a talented muggle artist to sketch the both of us. Oh yeah, and the ring – it was quite thoughtful."

"Ring? I don't know anything about a ring, but the picture - I sketched it," Lily mumbled, thankful for the darkness of the passageway otherwise he would have seen her blushing. She cursed herself. She needed to be calm and act normal or James would suspect something was up.

"What?" James leaned closer to her, having a hard time hearing her soft words.

Lily coughed, wrapping her cloak closer to her, and raised her voice. "I said, I sketched it. I wasn't sure if you would like it or-"

"I love it," James interrupted her rambling. "Okay Lily, what's wrong."

His concern touched her, but it also made her feel worse. "Nothing!" she said quickly. "Why would you think anything's wrong?" Lily avoided his gaze.

James smiled gently at her. "Well, let's see…you're avoiding my eyes, stammering, nervous. I wonder why I would think anything is wrong. I know it can't possibly be something to do with me unless you've found out some dirty family laundry that I don't even know about." He ticked off a finger as he listed the possible reasons. "Can't be something in the tabloids, because last time I checked there wasn't anything major there. Hm…you have a new fellow perhaps?" Lily sputtered indignantly. "Okay, nope there. I give up…what is it then?"

"It's nothing," Lily insisted in an exasperated tone, and James was forced to concede unless he wanted to upset her. Since he planned on stealing a few kisses before classes, upsetting her was not on the agenda. However, he did remain unconvinced that nothing was up. "I'm just….worried about classes and upcoming exams is all."

"Alright, alright." James put his hands up in a mock surrender. "Keep your secrets then, but I'm relentless," he warned as he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"Oh no you don't James. Stay away from my ticklish spots!" Lily promptly smacked the hands that were coming towards her, but she was pulled to him instead.

"Not quite what I had in mind," he said in a low voice, flashing a devastating smile at her before covering her mouth with his. He pressed her against the cold stone wall, murmuring how much he had missed her over the holidays.

Any thoughts Lily had were completely forgotten as she submitted to his touch. Whether or not she admitted it aloud, she had missed him desperately too. Wrapping her arms around his neck as she stood on her toes, she placed a kiss on his nose, sighing against him. "I'm sorry James."

"If this is what you being sorry entails, you should be sorry more often," he joked, trying to lighten the mood until he spotted tears forming in Lily's eyes. "Hey now…"

"I'm sorry I didn't want to go with you to your house over the holidays to meet your parents," she said softly, still holding onto him and the warmth he provided her.

"It's quite alright, no need to cry about it, love," he comforted her. Really, if it made her that upset, he wasn't going to force the issue. "I don't even want to go home sometimes," he joked.

"No you don't understand," Lily tried to explain. "It's not that…I just…it's only been a few months since my…" She took a deep breath. They said hurt eased with time, but truthfully she still felt like her parents had died only yesterday. "…well you know."

James nodded in understanding.

"My family always had the most wonderful Christmas celebrations. They went all out…I just wasn't ready for another family's Christmas," she admitted. James looked a little skeptical so she added, "Look, I will meet your family if you'd like, just to prove to you I'm not deathly scared of your parents."

James chuckled at that. "I never said you were."

"You thought it," Lily pointed out. "And I am a proud Gryffindor I'll have you know." She gave him a look that dared him to contradict her. It reflected a surge a pride and James almost chuckled at her silent threat, but he knew better.

"Well since you insist…"

"What?"

"My parents are holding a party – the biggest one they have all year – in a couple of weeks. They asked me to tell you that you're invited. They would like to meet you." James tenderly played with a strand of her hair, avoiding her accusing eyes.

Lily pushed him a little away as she met his gaze. "And when were you going to tell me about this?" She quirked an eyebrow at him, her hands resting on her hips.

James gave her a sheepish smile. "I wouldn't have if you continued on with the I-don't-want-to-go-to-your-house thoughts." Truthfully, James was a little nervous too. A few days had given him time to cool off, and he had returned to his parents' house during the winter holidays. They had talked for a good hour or so, citing their differences in opinion with James apologizing for his uncalled remarks to Evelyn while his parents had agreed to give 'Lila Evils,' as his stepmum called her, a chance. They wanted to meet her and would make any decisions based on that. James knew it was a big step for them and didn't push for anything else. He would have to see how his parents liked Lily.

"So now that everything's settled…" James picked up where he left off, showering his affections on Lily with more kissing.

"James," Lily weakly protested, thinking how wonderful his lips felt on her neck. They had work to do.

"Whatever it is, it can wait until later," James murmured against her ear.

Lily didn't have the heart (or the desire) to protest.

* * *

The Olwens weren't the oldest Pureblood family around, but neither were they a newly established one (which older Pureblood families discounted as not genuine Pureblood lines). However, they had been around long enough to warrant invitations from the important social circles, including the Potters.

Persephone stared at the crisp black invitation, interwoven with shimmering gold ribbons. Normally, the invitation would have passed down to her through her parents, but seeing as she was considered an adult by Wizarding standards (and the only Olwen left), it fell to her to let the Potters know whether anyone from the Olwen family would be attending their annual party.

The question was – did she want to go?

* * *

She stood in a small forgotten corner – her courage seemed to leave her at the doors of the enormous mansion sipping daintily at some red wine for lack of something better to do. Sure she could mingle with the rest of the guests, but she felt awkward and not her usual reassured self. Her father had been the more outgoing one in the family, introducing them to everyone else around, but now she felt like a shy wallflower.

After her falling out with Sirius, she had no one else to talk to. Sure, she had acquaintances, but no close friendships like the one she had shared with Lily…until she had ruined it with baseless accusations to vent her grief. Sirius had understood, but she had destroyed their camaraderie with her thoughtlessness. She knew that now – she had been selfish, petty and almost made choices she would not have been able to take back.

Regulus had been so charming…but she knew it to be an illusion now. She owed Sirius for the common sense he had instilled in her – ironically by breaking off their friendship – as well as keeping the promise she made to herself – to wait until she was ready. She had almost thrown it away without a second thought.

Persephone peered from the darkness, seeing who had shown up to the magnificently decorated ballroom. No one was actually dancing, despite the lovely music the live band was playing, everyone was still chatting amicably, while others were making friends with the buffet or wine table.

She sighed, wondering why she had come here in the first place.

A steady masculine voice cut through the silence that surrounded her. "People might think you're being anti-social."

Persephone's lavender eyes widened in surprise at being spoken to, but she recovered her wits quickly. "Let them think what they want. What do I care?"

The man chuckled, taking a step towards her, but not close enough to be considered rude or invasive. Although it **felt **invasive to her. "Then you have no qualms dancing with the misfit of the party."

It wasn't a question, and Persephone felt she was being trapped into spending more time with this stranger. "Well…"

He offered an open palm to her, expecting her to accept his proposal. "Come now sweetness, you're the loveliest person here. Dance with me."

"But there is no one else dancing, sir." Persephone protested. She **really **did not want to dance with this stranger; he unsettled her for some reason.

"Ah, but what does it matter what everyone else is doing?" His handsome smile and soothing voice were coaxing her to accept.

Persephone studied him for a moment – noting his small dark eyes and complimenting black hair. He looked familiar somehow, but she couldn't quite place it. He could have been her father as they looked around the same age, but her father never frightened her as this man seemed to enjoy.

She titled her head a little. "Do I know you?"

The tall wizard smiled at her. "In a way…"

Now he was really beginning to disturb her. She tried to step around him to see if anyone was coming to her rescue, but he placed an arm before her. "Come now, one dance."

Before she could decline, another voice interrupted their conversation.

"Uncle, do you mind not scaring all the pretty witches in the room?"

The man scowled. "I wasn't scaring her – I was being charming." He pouted at the younger man.

"Right…" Sirius said, clearly not believing him. "Well could you be charming some where else?"

Alphard chuckled. "Ruin my fun why don't you," he complained, but left his nephew with Persephone.

Sirius took a good look at her, making Persephone more uncomfortable than she was before. She wondered if he had taken pity on her by interrupting his uncle's advances.

"What is it with men of the Black household and trying to seduce me?" she grumbled, trying her best not to fidget under Sirius' intense gaze.

He didn't say anything for a moment, making her think he was still not on speaking terms with her.

"Trying?" he smirked at her.

Persephone blushed. Of course he wouldn't let her forget that embarrassing time when she had thrown herself at him.

"Well with a dress like that…" He gestured offhandedly to her form fitting gown that draped elegantly off her shoulders. "I'm surprised more of them aren't."

She blinked. Did he just give her a compliment? Persephone didn't know what to say. "What are you doing here anyways?" she said, thinking she might be asking for more heartache than explanations.

"I was invited," Sirius said, amused, knowing that wasn't the answer she was looking for.

She sighed. "You're not going to make this easy are you?"

Instead of answering, Sirius offered his hand to her.

Persephone's gloved hand met his reluctantly, unsure of his intentions. She chewed on her lip.

"Stop that," Sirius told her, without even glancing at her. "Fidgeting isn't attractive."

"Then don't look," she retorted, getting cranky with his mysteriousness and lack of answers. She didn't want to get her hopes up and he was deliberately baiting her with the promise of company.

The band was playing a lively foxtrot, much to the pleasure of a few of the older witches and wizards. A few couples moved around the dance floor in time to the slow beat. Persephone and Sirius joined those dancing.

Resting his hand properly on her lower back, he led her across the floor following the counterclockwise movement of the other dancers. Persephone's velvet dark purple robes swirled about her legs as he turned her gracefully. She breathed in delight, daring to close her eyes to enjoy something innocent for once. Sirius was an excellent partner as well, knowing how to best show her off and gauge her limits. Persephone almost felt like she was floating.

"I heard what you told James," Sirius said quietly, cutting into her thoughts. She felt the warmth of his breath on her ear. She shivered in response.

"He wasn't supposed to tell anyone," she replied, her voice equally soft. Her gaze slipped from his sharp gray eyes to over his shoulder. She didn't like not knowing what he was thinking, what he was planning. They continued to dance to the next song – a slow song.

"And so he didn't. I'm not just anyone." He smirked at her, his cool demeanor unnerving her.

He had hurt her with his words before, but she knew she deserved them. It still didn't lessen the sting and the bitter memory she had …or the attraction she felt towards him. Persephone decided to get to the point. "What do you want Sirius?"

His hand trailed from the proper position on her waist to her shoulder, not wasting the opportunity the slow tempo provided.

She took a sharp intake of breath as his left hand caressed her bare skin.

"Isn't it obvious?" he said.

His gray eyes sparkled from mischief or desire she wasn't sure, but he cleared it up soon enough.

As the song winded down to its final notes, Sirius leaned forward, his aristocratic features prominent even in the soft light on the ballroom floor.

His lips touched hers in the gentlest of kisses before he made a small bow and an exit to rejoin his friends.

Confusion set in as Persephone watched his disappearing form leave the ballroom.

A flood of feelings rushed into her heart, making her believe there might be hope after all.


	15. The Potter Party Part II

**Author's Note: **Don't hurt me people :P You'll get your L/J later. Thanks to Sarah for beta-ing this chapter for me.

* * *

**Chapter 14: The Potter Party Part II**

* * *

What on earth had she been thinking when she decided to wear the dark blue robes to this high society party? For that matter, what had she been thinking when she agreed to go in the first place? Every few seconds Lily reminded herself to breathe in the enormous and lavishly decorated ballroom. She carefully watched her steps, as not to embarrass herself or James by crashing into one of the vases of sparkling roses placed on tiny tables, where several of the guests had placed empty wine glasses. It felt more like an obstacle course to Lily than something to enjoy or marvel at. Not to mention, she could feel the stares, the whispers behind her back which painfully reminded her of Hogwarts. Some even sneered at her, having recognized her from the newspapers. 

James, however, was feeling quite at ease, used to the attention and the grandeur of one of the many rooms in his mansion, even if he didn't enjoy being here. He nodded politely at several of the guests he passed by, guiding Lily towards his parents with a gentle hand on her lower back. He offered an arm as they drew closer, giving them a more formal and polite impression of Lily.

They were talking to another couple but they excused themselves when they spotted him and Lily.

Dressed in a bright red robe with several large rubies adorning her neck, ears, and fingers, Evelyn was quite the sparkling sight. Lily briefly wondered how much the entire ensemble weighed and how many Brilliance Charms the woman had done, before James's stepmum introduced herself with much enthusiasm.

"Hi, I'm Evelyn, James's mum, and this is Harold, James's father." She gave her a wide smile, but Lily felt she was being analyzed from head to toe nonetheless.

A brief look of disgust crossed her features and Lily immediately knew her enthusiasm wasn't genuine. Well, at least she was trying to be nice for James's sake.

Evelyn continued. "You must be Lila Evils. James has told us all about you!"

"It's Lily-" James tried to correct, but his stubborn stepmother wouldn't hear any of it. Lily didn't know whether to laugh or be insulted. In the end, she settled for being amused as the woman prattled on.

"You're a muggleborn right?" The tone of her voice wasn't insulting, but the woman had spoken a little too loudly and several of the people around them turned accusing eyes toward Lily. Conversations around them stopped as they overheard the offending word.

"Mother!" James reprimanded her immediately, displeasure seen on his face and now rigid posture.

"Well she's not ashamed of it is she?"

Lily decided to interrupt. "The name is _Lily Evans _Mrs. Potter, and yes I am muggleborn, but I fail to see how that has any relevance to the conversation." She held her head high, and her dark green eyes gleamed.

Evelyn amended her attitude. "Oh nothing dear. I was just curious." Another amiable smile flickered across her face.

Harold spoke up, assessing Lily not in the way Evelyn had, rather in a way that Lily felt uncomfortable and unable to pinpoint. "So you're Head Girl I hear."

Ah, that was it, Lily decided. He was determining whether she was good enough for James. "Yes." She chanced a joke. "Someone has to keep James in line."

Harold laughed good-naturedly, while Evelyn smiled politely. "James, I'm sure your friends are looking for you," Evelyn hinted.

"I'll find them later."

A young woman dressed in a sparkling light blue robe gracefully stepped near them, nodded respectfully at the Potters before turning to address James. "I apologize for interrupting, but I was wondering if you wanted to dance, seeing as how you don't have a proper dance partner at the moment."

Lily stiffened at the insult, but didn't have time to reply, as James and his mother answered the girl.

"I'm sor-"

"He'd loved to!" Evelyn exclaimed delighted at the girl that was asking as well as the perfect timing of the interruption. The petite brunette grabbed James's hand, and dragged him off despite his protests. His high society upbringing prevented him from leaving the girl at least for one dance and he sent an apologetic look at Lily.

She waved it off. She could find him later, and put the rude girl in her place, but now she needed to fend off Mr. & Mrs. Potter.

The woman dropped her smile, and adopted a serious, business-like tone. "So what is it exactly that you want from James?"

Harold frowned at his wife's impropriety, but didn't interrupt as he too wanted to know the answer. He peered down at Lily from his much taller stature, narrowing his eyes at her.

"A better question is: what do _you _want for James?" Lily responded. She respected his parents, even if she didn't like them for their blatant prejudice. She lowered her voice so none of the other guests could hear her. "Because from what I can tell it's not his happiness you're concerned about. It's as if you don't even trust him! Since when is intelligence, love, respect – all those things you want in a good relationship – specific to just Purebloods?" Her eyes became hard as she gave them both a long look, knowing that she may well have ruined any chance of a good relationship they may have had with each other, but she didn't care. This wasn't about her. This was about James.

"If you say you love James, then _prove _it. Not to me, but to him. That would be better than any decision you could ever make for him. For heaven's sake, respect your own son instead of not trusting him to make his own choices!" she said, passionately. "Believe it or not, I want the same thing you do for James. He deserves someone that makes him laugh, keeps him in line while at the same time being able to keep up with his wit, and appreciate his intelligence. He deserves to be respected and loved just like everyone else. And while I may or may not be that someone, that's the entire point of dating isn't it?"

Evelyn and Harold were shocked at her audacity.

"Why you little-"

Harold placed a hand on his wife's arm that stopped her from finishing the sentence, which Lily was sure wasn't flattering at all.

Lily could feel her cheeks heating up from the confrontation and how strongly she believed in what she said. She was embarrassed she spoke so frankly and boldly to James's parents, but she wouldn't back down. Thankfully an angel, or so he was at the time, appeared next to her.

"Care to dance m'lady?" An arm was offered for her to take, and Lily readily accepted, allowing the young wizard to lead her away from the stunned Potters.

"I could kiss you right now Remus," Lily said gratefully.

He grinned at her. "And I could accept right now, but somehow I doubt that would help your reputation any."

"Somehow I don't think I need you to ruin my reputation. I do it quite well on my own, thank you."

Remus chuckled. "Didn't go so well eh?"

"Understatement," she said dryly and promptly changed the subject. "You clean up well."

Remus's eyes met hers for a brief second as they crossed the room towards the ballroom floor. "I had some help," he admitted. "Peter and Sirius nearly forced me to wear this."

She laughed, her gloved hand still on top of his arm, and she became more comfortable with his presence.

He made sure that more of her attention was drawn towards him instead of focused on their surroundings. Remus knew how uncomfortable and unwelcome people could make others feel.

Her dark green eyes danced with amusement. "They 'forced' you?"

Remus smiled wryly. "It was either this or go naked. They hid the rest of my wardrobe…or at least I hope they did. I would be upset if they destroyed it."

A strangled laugh came out of Lily. "Well, can't argue with that logic."

They joined in with a few other couples dancing to a Viennese waltz. Neither of them was very good, but they enjoyed it nonetheless, managing to avoid several close collisions. Lily's cheeks were flushed from the fast pace, and she motioned to Remus she needed a short break before dancing again. He steered them away from the crowd.

He smiled at her in understanding. "Been a while?"

Lily was still trying to catch her breath as she leaned lightly against him. She could smell what she suspected was his cologne and closed her eyes automatically inhaling the scent. "Understatement," she murmured. She remembered why she liked him, especially before she met James.

Lily suddenly opened her brilliant green eyes to inspect his face. She frowned at him, but moved her head back to his quite comfortable shoulder as they leaned against the wall away angled out of sight of many of the guests. "How come we stopped talking after fifth year?" she asked seriously. She had missed their conversations. "We were good friends weren't we? At least I thought so…"

"You were becoming too pretty," Remus confessed, a sober look on his face. "I couldn't take your blatant rejections any more."

Lily poked his side, giving him an annoyed glance. "I'm being serious." She turned to watch the others around the room and thought she spotted Sirius among the throngs of people.

Remus heaved a great sigh. "I suppose same thing that happens with most friendships. We grew-"

"Oh spare me that nonsense. You purposely avoided me you know." She cut to the point. Lily had realized what exactly was wrong with Remus during her fifth year and his frequent excuses during a few days of Prefect patrol. They were assigned together naturally, both of them being the Gryffindor Prefects.

He winced at her bluntness. This was not a subject he wanted to talk about. "Well you weren't exactly comfortable with me after you found out."

"That's not true," Lily protested. She lifted her head from his shoulder to look at him.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Like hell it isn't. You were anxious when it was that time, and there were lots of awkward silences between us. Every time I tried to make conversation you'd make excuses to be out of my presence as fast as possible."

"You could have said something."

"Like what? You wanted me to comfort _you_?" he said incredulously. Why was she making such a big deal about it? He was quite used to people acting differently around him once they found out, even to the point of not thinking of him as a person. Lily didn't go that extreme, but their relationship was definitely strained once he realized what was making her so nervous around him during the full moon days.

"No-I don't know!" Lily let out a breath in frustration. "Don't blame this entirely on me."

"Who said I was blaming anyone?" he pointed out, looking away from her. "After you found out, you always wanted me to be a different person than who I was…who I _am. _I'm not a hero or a saint or any of those other things you wanted me to be, Lily. I'm never going to be the guy that fights against the prejudices; I just accept them for what they are and live my life the way _I _want to, not the way anyone else thinks I should."

"How are you not living your life to the standard everyone else dictates for you huh?" she retorted. "You can't accept prejudices and then claim you live life the way you want. Prejudices don't work that way. It forces you to conform to what everyone else thinks is right. You can't possibly tell me you want to be seen as a monster instead of a person. That you never want to get married to have kids or hell, even be an Auror."

"Why would I want to work for an organization as prejudiced as the Ministry? I can't fault you on the other points, but what the hell can I do about it?" His voice was harsh now as he kept his anger under control.

"You could fight against it!" Her eyes shined brightly, as angry tears formed in her eyes. Remus didn't deserve this. No one did, but he just wanted to give in!

Remus laughed bitterly. "So naïve Lily." He grabbed a glass of wine from a waiter that was passing by, downing it in a few swallows.

"I may be, but you're a coward. You think you're the only outcast? What do you think I go through _every _damn day Remus? Because it sure as hell isn't a perfect life. At least most people don't know about your condition. But me? My heritage isn't something I can hide, and I wouldn't even if I could. Do you think people are actually happy for me being Head Girl, getting better grades than most of them in classes, dating James!"

She folded her arms, taking a deep breath to keep from lashing out at Remus. She was angry, but not at him. "I couldn't look myself in the mirror if I just accepted it, thinking that I deserve the things they say, the things they do to me. I wouldn't be here right now either if I believed that just because I'm Muggleborn I'm not good enough. James didn't give into prejudices either. I'm here tonight because he didn't give into what his parents wanted."

"I'm not James, Lily," Remus said quietly.

Before she could say anything else the very person they were talking about stopped in front of them. "There you are!" he said, a little out of breath. "I've been looking all over for you – thought you might have eloped with…"

James noticed their rigid postures, and the way they weren't quite looking at each other, standing a little ways off. "Everything okay here?"

Lily's eyes shimmered for a brief second, before she blinked and managed a weak smile. "Yeah, just smashin'."

She saw him study Remus for a few seconds, and took his arm to prevent any further inquiries. "Come on, let's mingle. I'm sure there are a few people I haven't insulted yet," she said with forced cheer in her voice as they walked away from Remus.

"I really hope you're kidding," James said warily.

A sudden thought comforted her as she remembered the woman that had stolen James at a **very **inopportune moment. With a devious look in her eyes she muttered under her breath, "A brunette in particular…" And then she turned to James and grinned. "I'm nothing but angelic."

He sighed in relief. "That's good to know."

However, he didn't see the two fingers crossed behind her back as she sauntered towards a large group of people, nearly giddy with anticipation of sweet revenge.


End file.
